I always comment on how my Dad is an ostrich... once things get a little confrontational he sticks his head in the sand and doesn't want to know about it. I always thought I was the complete opposite, that I always go charging in and get stuff done...
Today I realised that I have in fact inherited the "ostrich trait" from my father.
There are just some things that when they become a little uncomfortable for me I tend to 'shut down' and just block it all out, as though avoiding it will make it go away.
I will be honest (as I always am here lol) and tell you all that I have been avoiding anything 12WBT related ever since the commitment preseason task came out. Just like last round, the commitment task has me completely panicky. Why?! Because I don't have the confidence in myself to be able to back myself up.
I know who I want to commit myself to (myself, my partner and my friend), but I feel as though I would be lying as I can't seem to make myself believe that I will follow this program through. Right now, I can't seem to commit to anything... eating, exercise, cleaning out the kitchen, wanting to cook and I have no enthusiasm for any of it.
So, why am I telling you all about this? Well, I figured if I am feeling this way, there must be other people out there who are feeling similar to me. Plus, I realised that I have been avoiding blogging about anything here for fear of bringing too much negativity to my page and to the people who read this blog.
However - negative thought processes are part of the inward battle of weight loss and the only way (for me at least) to start working through them is to actually get it all out there, and for me to work through them... and part of that process seems to be to blog about it as I tend to find it quite therapeutic.
So, Round 1 kicks off on Monday, I am yet to find any enthusiasm for it, however I only have 3 days to get through the last half of my preseason tasks, so hopefully that will incite some enthusiasm.
Whirlsie, I love your honesty and as you say, it will help you to really work through this. Would it be worth talking to any of the support crew on the 12wbt website or forums? Someone like Gab? For what it's worth, i found that commitment task a challenge and the really hard part was deciding to be a woman of my word. So now my focus is on keeping my word to follow the 12wbt for 12 weeks, rather than focussing on how much i need to lose and getting overwhelmed by that and falling into old i can't do it habits. I wish you so much success. Please don't think your blog is negative - it's just honest and I for one am grateful.
ReplyDeleteWhirlsie ... two things you must do! No 1: It seems to be that a fear of committing is a fear of what might happen ... so sit yourself down with a cuppa and answer the following: What do you want to achieve (e.g. weight loss or fitness or both) ... Question 1: What's the worst thing that might happen if you achieve this? Question 2: What's the worst thing that might happen if you don't? Write a list!!! Sometimes this helps clear the mind and give perspective?
ReplyDeleteSecond thing for you to do? Write out your tag line 100 times substitute 'I' instead of 'you' ... You hear??? YOU ARE BRAVER THAN YOU BELIEVE, STRONGER THAN YOU SEEM AND SMARTER THAN YOU THINK!! You really and truly are, so start there!! The rest will fall into place. Plan your meals and your workouts and just get started. Don't try and 'make yourself' excited ... it'll all happen when you're ready. Just take the first step - and you'll find another one right in front of you which you won't be able to resist. Big hugs, be positive and don't stress!! x