Amazing and Inspiring Woman

I have just sat down and read this amazing story of Kazz's journey.

 

What an exceptional woman!!!! I am simply in awe of her!!! She has lost an incredible amount of weight and she has such confidence!!  Not only in herself, but in her journey and in taking control of her life.

 

Her journey has taken 5 years so far, but I love that it's not an issue for her (it annoyed me that I was at it for 4 years) and she is going so strong!!

 

She reminds me of the passion I once had for weight loss and nutrition, which I will honestly admit has diminished considerably, so much so that I have seriously considered whether I am doing the right thing in studying to be a nutritionist.  However, she has inspired me to find my passion again.  I want my confidence back!  I want to believe in myself again! I want to have the passion I used to feel back in my life!! 

 

This story has brought back so many memories for me tonight, how I felt, how much I achieved and how proud of myself I was.  It doesn't matter if it takes me another 4 years, all that matters is that I take control of the situation and learn to love and respect myself and my body again.

 

Kazz, I feel as if your story has woken me up again, and I am ready to get on with it, and get it done!  Thank You!!

 

 

Little Piggy

Oomph!  I don't feel so good!!

I have totally pigged out today and had far too much sugar... while I feel like crap at the moment, it has made me realise that my eating hasn't been so bad  over the last few weeks, it hasn't been great, but it's been pretty good.

Small win!!

I haven't posted on here for about a week, but I have been thinking a lot about posting something up, I have just been focussing on uni work, and trying to catch up/get through it all.

I have to admit that I have come off the wagon a bit with eating/exercising, which I have to say is mostly because I didn't see any differences on the scales which in turn made  me feel sad... and then the good habits started to fade.

My mental awareness of food is coming back though, and I think so is my positive attitude to weightloss as well, as I have been finding that I have started telling myself some of my old mantras:

"It doesn't matter if you fall off the wagon, it's that you're still trying"

"You haven't failed because you haven't given up"

"It doesn't matter how many times you try again, it matters that you are trying"

"Where would you be if you weren't trying?? Probably somewhere worse!"

I personally like these, as it does make me feel better to know that I am still here, and still giving it a go, because it could  be worse... I could be getting fatter...

 

And the fact that I have had a bit of a sugar pig out today reminds me that not only do I not like how it makes me feel, but that I don't want to be this way.

 

Yes, I am scared of trying... I am scared of it not working, but in all honesty... I am feeling lazy in that I don't want to try... I know how much hard work goes into losing weight, and it makes me feel tired.

 

This is such a lame excuse/reason!!  How ridiculous!!!

 

I know it is up to me... I am just scared that I am not enough... can I do this??

 

One person who always believes in me is my buddy Cas, who always manages to pep me up... and I never realise this until hours or days later...  She gets me thinking, and well, actually... she gets inside my head!!! I can hear her words going round and round inside my head.

 

The other night I set up my profile to get calorie counting again and I even set up my profile on an Xbox game to get exercising on that... so there are some positive steps...

 

Now, I just need to get my fat arse to do it!!

 

In fact... I might go and do something now... something fun, that I love doing... Might be time to do some step!

Awesome Video

I came across this video on Tightening the Apron Strings and I just wanted to share it, I love this chick!! hahaha!!

I have never seen any of her videos before, but I just think she rocks!!

I am always uncomfortable in my body when I have a bit of weight on, but I do know that in part it is due to the whole media circus, but in truth it is also because I actually don't feel comfortable.

I don't feel comfortable with how my clothes fit or feel.  I don't feel comfortable when I am sitting or even walking.  I just feel uncomfortable!

BUT!!  Being fat does not define me!  I am still ME no matter what size I am... sure I may get mopey sometimes about my weight, but it doesn't stop me and I don't think it holds me back.  I think that things that do hold me back are mostly money and time... and a fear of heights (which is why I don't really do bridge climbs, bunjy jumping or skydiving).

I love how confident this woman is, I love how happy she is in herself and I just think she rocks!

(PS, sorry for basically copying your post seasidechik, but I just had to share this video too and share my thoughts on it all)

Perception

You know, perception is a funny thing...

When the picture (right) was taken, I was so convinced this was a horrible photo, that I looked awful! I thought I was so fat and how much I hated my hips.  That I had lost so much weight, but you really couldn't even tell.

When I came across this photo tonight, I just thought "OMG!  How thin do I look!!" My face looks so thin and so do my arms... yes, I have big hips, but WOW! Look at my waist! There is definition!!  Even my nect looks thin as does my chest! (not small boobs (although, yes, they are smaller lol) but the part under my neck looks thinner).  And then I remembered how I felt when the photo was taken.

It struck me how weird perception is... I guess it brings back that old saying "you don't know what you've got until it's gone", you just don't seem to appreciate stuff until it's not there anymore... hindsight is a beautiful thing!

At the time this picture was taken, I was probably about the 80kg mark... a good 20kg less than I am now... crazy!!  I was at the gym regularly and my eating was pretty awesome.  MB had come to my gym for the 1st birthday (I think it was) and also did a book signing.  She was pretty inspriring to meet in person! In truth, I didn't really like her before I actually met her! lol

Do you have anything like this? Where your perception has changed completely?

Feeling Empowered

I am feeling so great about myself lately! I am finally starting to feel a bit more in control and a lot happier with choices I have been making. While my eating hasn't really improved, my mindset has definitely taken a turn for the awesome!

I have found it so hard to look at my eating habits in a healthy way, and while I had been feeling pretty good about it all since my last post, it wasn't until a late night call to my bestie last night that I was finally able to verbalise it all and really get it right in my own mind.

So many of my old sayings were coming out of my mouth last night and they really pumped me up and filled me with a sense of purpose that I haven't felt in such a long time... the kind of feelings that sent me on my journey to become a dietician.

I thought that I would share some of these with you, these are some of my "pearls of wisdom" that I have gathered along my journey and passed on to a lot of my friends who asked me for help:

1. Forget the fad diets - you hear so many people saying this, but really.... are you listening?? Don't do the shakes, don't do meal replacements and forget about the diet pills... those are obvious... but what about the all-or-nothing diets?  The ones where you are restricted to eating exactly what they say and exercising as much as they say? And how long do they go for?? 1 week, 2 weeks, 10 weeks, 6 months?! More? Less? Are you feeling trapped by what they are telling you to do?  Do you feel even more stressed?  Do you feel less than perfect for not doing it exactly?!
2. Live within your lifestyle - Do you just love coffee?? (I sure do!!  Have u seen my coffee machine?!) Can u not say no to chocolate?! Then don't cut it out... use it as a reward or just cut it down... The problem I have found over the years is that if I completely cut something out, the minute I have a stressful period in my life or would usually comfort eat, I tend to go ballistic with what I have cut out of my diet and I binge... and it's not pretty!
3. There is no such thing as a perfect diet - while there are ideal ways of eating, and scientists are telling you what you should eat and what you shouldn't, don't forget that it's not really possible to eat every kind of veggie you need to in a day, or that some days you will go over the reccommended protein intake... you can only do the best you can do!
4. You need to live - got a birthday coming up? Want cake? Or a glass of wine? Then have it... don't forget to live!  Enjoy life! Celebrate it!!  Just don't do it all the time... it comes back to moderation... work it in!
5. Most meals can be made healthier - One of my favourite dishes is out of the Symply Too Good To Be True cookbooks... its a Meat Pie that once you taste the gravy you will never want a shop bought pie ever again!!  Look at how you can cut down sugar, fat or the calorie content of your favourite dish!
6. Your body is not a computer - while weightloss is definitely a "calories in, calories out" process, your body doesn't always work logically.  You might be retaining water, you might have a medical condition that slows your weightloss efforts or ur body may just be stubborn that week and won't reflect your weightloss on the scales... bascially, do what you can, and let your body sort itself out... it will balance it all out in the end, and if you put in the work, you will get the rewards!
7. Is it the number or the loss that you want? This probably seems a little strange, but there is a difference... I have had so many friends tell me "I just want to get to xx kilos"... and I usually ask them this question... the thing is, do you want the number on the scales or to be a certain size... because these do not always equal the same thing.  For example, I am currently at my heaviest weight, but I am not the biggest size I have ever been.  Exercise, diet and previous weightloss has changed my body shape and I have more muscle than I have before.  So while the number on the scales say I am bigger, my clothing says something else.  Use a tape measure for an accurate measure of results.
8. Do what you can - there is no point in pushing yourself to breaking point... Exercise is important for your health and for weightloss, but if you can only exercise for 20 minutes a day, or only a few times a week, then it's far more than you would be doing if you just sat on the couch. If you have a particularly hard time coming up, then work around it, don't forget to exercise or eat properly, just be sensible about what you can do.
9. Appreciate how far YOU have come - I am the worst at comparing myself to others, but every now and then I will actually take a look at what I have achieved, and it's something that no one can take away from me.  Have you changed your approach to food and exercise? Have you lost weight? Have you run for a whole fun run? Celebrate!  Look at what you have achieved! 
10. This is life - my first point was to avoid fad diets... this is kind of related to that.  Most fad diets are short lived (and often ridiculous!), make small changes and build on from those to make these healthy changes for life.  This is your lifestyle and only you can change it. Look at the smaller things to change as sometimes looking at the whole picture can be daunting and seem unobtainable... start small and remember, it all begins with one step.

All of these are things that I have learned for myself... and I have a story for each of them (won't bore you with that though!).  I have more tips, but I think 10 is enough for now! lol

I am feeling so empowered... this is the feeling I have been missing in regards to my weightloss journey for over a year now... I am so happy that I have found it again.  I am really looking forward to getting back into it all and the thought that the weightloss will be slow is fine... it's the steady that I am looking for!

Looking Back...

I'm being a little naughty (I should be working on a scientific report right now... haha!) and I am writing a post on something I have been meaning to write for the last week...

2007 - At my (previously)
heaviest weight

When I went back onto Calorie King I was going through all of my old profile settings and came across some photos.  One was my original before photo... when I was at my heaviest of 99kg and the second was my 'after' photo where I wasn't at my goal weight (never reached it lol), I was still 10kg from reaching goal.

My 'after' photo - in Paris
& on top of the world

There is about 18 months difference between the photos, and I can remember how I was feeling both times the photos were taken.  At my heaviest, I remember feeling so self concious.  I was with friends who I know loved me for me, but at the same time, looking back, I know that I was miserable.  I wasn't happy with who I was, I was battling depression, I felt frumpy, and just felt like I filled the room - and not in the good way.  The 'after' photo I was in Paris.  I was living my dream of going to Europe.  I felt like I was on top of the world.  I felt like I could do anything! I wasn't battling depression anymore and all of my health problems had disapeared - I could do anything!!!

Close to my lightest weight
of my weightloss journey

I don't have any photos of me at my lightest weight, but I do have one at a friends party when we were playing pool.  I am only a couple of kilos off my lightest at this point.  Maybe it's just me, but I can see the differences in my smile - I am just so much happier and more content within myself... I love feeling this way... the power of the mind is amazing!  This photo was taken in April 2010 - it actually doesn't seem that long ago. It is amazing how much can change in such a short time!

I'm working on a new me...

But, here I am now.  At my heaviest weight ever... but I am determined to make all of the changes in my life work for me... rather than have me running around with no idea what is happening.  I actually don't have a photo of me at the moment, but I think what I would like to do is to have a current "before" photo, you know, starting fresh and all of that. 

I have learned a lot over the last 5 years, and I know that this will help me with my current weight loss journey... I can't wait to feel on top of the world again!!  I have even more going for me now than I did back in 2008! I have a wonderful new family and I am living my current dream of going to uni!  Big changes can take a lot of getting used to - but I know that I can do it!!!

Be Yourself

With everything that has been going on over the last week or so, I just felt that this picture really needed to be shared.  I know it's something I need to do - and hopefully it will help you guys too :)

It seems so obvious, yet I do need to remind myself not to worry about keeping up with everyone else :)

Edited to add: I just realised this is my 100th post! YAY!  Glad it was on something positive!!