Feeling Empowered

I am feeling so great about myself lately! I am finally starting to feel a bit more in control and a lot happier with choices I have been making. While my eating hasn't really improved, my mindset has definitely taken a turn for the awesome!

I have found it so hard to look at my eating habits in a healthy way, and while I had been feeling pretty good about it all since my last post, it wasn't until a late night call to my bestie last night that I was finally able to verbalise it all and really get it right in my own mind.

So many of my old sayings were coming out of my mouth last night and they really pumped me up and filled me with a sense of purpose that I haven't felt in such a long time... the kind of feelings that sent me on my journey to become a dietician.

I thought that I would share some of these with you, these are some of my "pearls of wisdom" that I have gathered along my journey and passed on to a lot of my friends who asked me for help:

1. Forget the fad diets - you hear so many people saying this, but really.... are you listening?? Don't do the shakes, don't do meal replacements and forget about the diet pills... those are obvious... but what about the all-or-nothing diets?  The ones where you are restricted to eating exactly what they say and exercising as much as they say? And how long do they go for?? 1 week, 2 weeks, 10 weeks, 6 months?! More? Less? Are you feeling trapped by what they are telling you to do?  Do you feel even more stressed?  Do you feel less than perfect for not doing it exactly?!
2. Live within your lifestyle - Do you just love coffee?? (I sure do!!  Have u seen my coffee machine?!) Can u not say no to chocolate?! Then don't cut it out... use it as a reward or just cut it down... The problem I have found over the years is that if I completely cut something out, the minute I have a stressful period in my life or would usually comfort eat, I tend to go ballistic with what I have cut out of my diet and I binge... and it's not pretty!
3. There is no such thing as a perfect diet - while there are ideal ways of eating, and scientists are telling you what you should eat and what you shouldn't, don't forget that it's not really possible to eat every kind of veggie you need to in a day, or that some days you will go over the reccommended protein intake... you can only do the best you can do!
4. You need to live - got a birthday coming up? Want cake? Or a glass of wine? Then have it... don't forget to live!  Enjoy life! Celebrate it!!  Just don't do it all the time... it comes back to moderation... work it in!
5. Most meals can be made healthier - One of my favourite dishes is out of the Symply Too Good To Be True cookbooks... its a Meat Pie that once you taste the gravy you will never want a shop bought pie ever again!!  Look at how you can cut down sugar, fat or the calorie content of your favourite dish!
6. Your body is not a computer - while weightloss is definitely a "calories in, calories out" process, your body doesn't always work logically.  You might be retaining water, you might have a medical condition that slows your weightloss efforts or ur body may just be stubborn that week and won't reflect your weightloss on the scales... bascially, do what you can, and let your body sort itself out... it will balance it all out in the end, and if you put in the work, you will get the rewards!
7. Is it the number or the loss that you want? This probably seems a little strange, but there is a difference... I have had so many friends tell me "I just want to get to xx kilos"... and I usually ask them this question... the thing is, do you want the number on the scales or to be a certain size... because these do not always equal the same thing.  For example, I am currently at my heaviest weight, but I am not the biggest size I have ever been.  Exercise, diet and previous weightloss has changed my body shape and I have more muscle than I have before.  So while the number on the scales say I am bigger, my clothing says something else.  Use a tape measure for an accurate measure of results.
8. Do what you can - there is no point in pushing yourself to breaking point... Exercise is important for your health and for weightloss, but if you can only exercise for 20 minutes a day, or only a few times a week, then it's far more than you would be doing if you just sat on the couch. If you have a particularly hard time coming up, then work around it, don't forget to exercise or eat properly, just be sensible about what you can do.
9. Appreciate how far YOU have come - I am the worst at comparing myself to others, but every now and then I will actually take a look at what I have achieved, and it's something that no one can take away from me.  Have you changed your approach to food and exercise? Have you lost weight? Have you run for a whole fun run? Celebrate!  Look at what you have achieved! 
10. This is life - my first point was to avoid fad diets... this is kind of related to that.  Most fad diets are short lived (and often ridiculous!), make small changes and build on from those to make these healthy changes for life.  This is your lifestyle and only you can change it. Look at the smaller things to change as sometimes looking at the whole picture can be daunting and seem unobtainable... start small and remember, it all begins with one step.

All of these are things that I have learned for myself... and I have a story for each of them (won't bore you with that though!).  I have more tips, but I think 10 is enough for now! lol

I am feeling so empowered... this is the feeling I have been missing in regards to my weightloss journey for over a year now... I am so happy that I have found it again.  I am really looking forward to getting back into it all and the thought that the weightloss will be slow is fine... it's the steady that I am looking for!

3 Weeks into Uni... and the TRUTH about where I have been....

WARNING: post contains revelations (and seems to have become a novel!)

3 Weeks into Uni... and already there have been tears (a lot actually!), major melt downs, stress, poor nutrition and lack of exercise...

I have been putting off this post for the last 2 weeks (since the 12WBT started), because, well... I felt like a failure...

I touched on this in my blogger challenge answer I wrote earlier today, however I don't think that post quite told you the whole truth - not that I was lying, but the point of the post was positivity lol, and I just didn't want to bring it down.

So, let's get to the crux of the problem - I wasn't coping with so many life changes going on at the same time, and I was putting far too much pressure on myself, which is not a good combination!! When I am stressed, not happy or just don't know how to handle a situation, I basically "shut down".  I avoid people, I don't ask for help, and I don't want people to see that I am struggling.  I guess, that maybe I don't want to admit to myself either... The problem with this was that I didn't put it out there where it usually helps me, and where I recieve a lot of support - here! On my blog. 

I have negleted my blog over the last couple of weeks, and I am so glad that I had the foresight to have all of the blogger challenge questions ready and scheduled, because otherwise, it just wouldn't have happened.

University isn't like I thought it would be... or to be more accurate, I'm not the uni student I thought I would be.  I have really struggled with my classes!!  I have had a lot of problems trying to comprehend topics (mostly chemistry), and I have spent so much time in my study it's, quite honestly, unbelievable.  I have barely seen my partner, and when I did I was usually in tears of frustration or stress, so the poor bugger hasn't had an easy time of being a boyfriend at the moment. 

I struggled with my subjects so much, that before week 2 was over I could see (thankfully!) that I wasn't doing so well, and recognise that something had to go... and in fact, it was 2 things... the 12WBT (don't panic, I will get to this in a moment!) and my Anatomy subject.  I simply couldn't focus on so much going on, especially with my priority being university at this point in time.  If I have any chance of surviving uni, I need to realise and accept that I am not Wonder Woman.  I am actually human and it is ok to not to try and do everything!

My main confusion (at this point in time!) to do with chemistry has been resolved and for the forst time in 3 weeks I don't feel as though my neck and back are just one giant knot. I feel semi-human again and that I might be able to do this.  Yes, my time is completely taken up by uni, work and studying around all of this (bedtimes are about 10.30pm atm, and that's basically filled with study from as soon as I get home for the day), however, the other day I had a bit of an epiphany... I can still loose weight if I try!!

My thinking on this, is that in all honesty, I don't think I will be following Mish's plan to a T, however I want to concentrate mostly on what I am eating. So, in my case, making sure I eat breakfast, eating a healthier lunch and making sure I am eating a healthy dinner.

I realise this probably sounds really simple, but I am going to make it even easier for myself.  I will be eating some of Mish's meals, however I am going to go back to some old faithful's from when I was losing weight on my own.  I won't be sticking to 1200 calories, but aiming for 1500 calories instead.

I have come to realise that at this point in time, I need to make things really easy on myself...  My partner is in the US for the next week, but I am not going to let this stop me. I am going to sit down with my Meal Planner app on my iPad and put in my meals I want to eat this week, get a shopping list and get all of my ingredients.  I think in a way, I want to use this time on my own to get back to where I was a year ago on my weightloss journey. I think that because I was single, it was actually a little easier for me foodwise.  I in no way blame  how I eat on my life now, it's just that it was a habit I was in a year ago, and so far I don't really have many healthy habits... I need to find that will that I used to have instead of being in a 'comfort place'.

I am lucky enough that B is supportive and is happy to cook meals but I think first off, I need to remember what my favourite healthy meals are...

Right now, it's time for me to get back to basics!!

So, while I still consider myself to be a part of this round, I won't be participating to the full extent. I realise that this isn't the best use of my participation to the program, but right now, I think it is the only way that I can participate.

My weightloss journey will be slow... but I will lose the weight!!

Blogger Challenge Answer: Week 2 - Positivity

This weeks challenge is to look at what are you actually TAKING up? What are you giving yourself? Are you learning something new? Taking up a new sport? Giving yourself a social life?

You know, when I initially wrote this post, I didn't think that I would be writing what I am about to...

First off, I have to say that this round hasn't gone to plan.  In fact, to give you an idea of where my plan is, if I was to stay completely still, my plan would have lapped me twice and is in Timbuktu.

While this has been the case, I have come to realise that this round, I am really giving myself something special... I am finding the balance!!

I am living a goal that I have had for the last couple of years - to go to university.  While this isn't directly 12WBT related, it is in reality such a huge gift to myself that I have been able to do with the help of my partner.

I have been looking at this year as my time. I am finally in a position not to have to worry about everything all by myself (money, mortgage, food, work, study).  I have an amazing partner who wants nothing more than to see me happy and to see me succeed.

While this probably doesn't seem like much of a connection to balance in my life, it really is as for years I have always wanted to be able to find some time to focus on myself, to work my way towards a goal and to have some freedom in my lifestyle and mindset to be able to actively work on who I am now!!

So, while I haven't followed Mish's plans - in any way, shape or form at this point in the round, I have come to realise that part of learning balance is not to stress myself out so much... which is a big undertaking let me tell you!! I am such a stresshead, and I know that this isn't good for me at all!!

It is now week 3 in uni, I am still ironing kinks out, I am still trying to figure out how my brain will retain all of this wonderful new knowledge, but I feel that by taking a step back I am able to find my centre and be able to look at my tasks and changes and ease myself into it, rather than panicking and wondering why I can't seem to do so much like others can (note to self (and anyone else listening!: don't compare yourself - make you life, tasks, work, study, etc work for you!! No one else has your life, and you don't have theirs - everyone copes differently!!)

So, basically, at this point in time I am giving myself time to cope with all of the BIG changes in my life and learning to take baby steps to get to my goals!

Facing Fears and Busting Excuses

It's been a couple of days since I blogged, but you will be happy to know that it's because I have been busy exercising, planning and facing fears.

As you are aware, I have decided that I want to start exercising in the mornings... Well, yesterday morning I woke up and had the usual "get ******! I'm going back to sleep!" thoughts but then I started thinking "if you don't start now, when will you?" and "just do it!".... but I have to say that the one that got to me the most was telling a friend of mine whom I have made a commitment to that "I couldn't be bothered!"  The idea of doing that got me out of bed quick smart!

To be fair, I really wasn't in the mood for the gym, but here is brainwave #1 - I didn't have to go to the gym... I could workout at home... I certainly have enough here!  There is the treadmill, the exercise DVD's, the exercise games on the Xbox (or the Wii), there are boxing pads and mitts and even a skipping rope!  And even if all that fails, I can go outside for a walk! So, that's what I did!  I got up, made a coffee and got ready... then I put on Mish's Cardio Shredder DVD.  I only did about 15 minutes before I got a little bored, but I hadn't done enough, so I switched over to the Xbox... where I did skipping, punching, running and tai chi! We had an early appointment which I had forgotten about at the start of my workout (good thing I didn't go to the gym!), so when I stopped, I had burned 412 calories. Not bad for someone who "couldn't be bothered"!



Not the best pic, but you get the idea...



Today was action packed!  It's my day off and I spent most of it on the go! Once again I woke up not wanting to go to the gym and I was so exhausted from the lsat 3 days worth of exercise and movement, so I told myself that I would go swimming instead... and you know what?! I did!! As you may have read previously, I have a fear of swimming, or more importantly, of putting my head under the water.  However, I have decided that this year I will face my fears! I also had an ulterior motive - I wanted to test out my HRM in the water... sadly the HRM wouldn't work... so I have no idea how many calories I burned, but I can tell you now, I worked my arse off!! (According to Mish I burned 180 calories - cos I was only swimming for about 15 minutes) I went to the larger outdoor pool, and I managed 3 laps! (Thats 150m people!!)  It doesn't sound like much, but it is 2 more laps than I thought I would be able to do.  I was hoping that I would be able to do some swimming lessons, but the local pool is booked out and I have been struggling to find alternate places (btw - is it so hard to return a phone call (or 4!) Tuggeranong Pool?!), so I have decided to give it a go on my own for now. (For the record, I also went to the dentist today - that's another fear!)

To help me get prepared, I have started cooking up some meals to freeze so that I can have them waiting for me in the freezer for those days (and nights!) that I can't be bothered cooking because it's too late, or that I am so hungry I would eat anything!  I made up some Basil & Mushroom Risotto and some Lentil Bolognese with Spagetti.  Tomorrow I will be cooking some more, but it won't be one of Mish's meals, it will be from Symply Too Good To Be True.

So, I think that is about all for me for now... I will be posting up some goals for my Pre Season Task 3 as soon as I do them!