Leap Day!

Today is Leap Day!!  I have always been facinated by the fact that every four years we get an extra day... although I reckon it would be a pretty awesome public holiday... but then again us Aussies do love our public holidays! haha!!

There is a tradition that a on a leap day, a woman can ask a man to marry him (and back in the day if a man refused apparently he had to compensate her! lol), and while that hasn't happened to me (and it probably won't, I think B and I like traditions too much lol), my Mum did propose to my Dad on a leap day all those years ago :)

Anyway, I just basically just wanted to check in today.  The urge to get back into exercise is getting stronger with every day that my stress levels are dropping (although in saying that, I think that the amount of time I am spending in study is dropping too haha!).  I even had a plan last night to pack my gym bag as I really wanted to go to the gym and jump on a treadmill after work today.

Unfortunately, that plan didn't quite workout as I was up super early this morning with Miss 3, getting her ready for daycare so that I could start work at 7.30am.  I am not disapointed in myself for not going though, as it is stocktake time at work and believe me, I got a workout!!  Up and down, up and down! Bend and straighten, bend and straighten. I kinda wish I had of worn my HRM to work! That would have been interesting!!

A Shout Out!

I just wanted to take a quick break from studying to pop on here and say THANK YOU to everyone who has taken the time to comment on here or email me (or even post on your blog!) to give me support.

I am amazed by how supportive people can be.  As you all probably know, it's really hard to put yourself out there sometimes and own up to the fact that you aren't coping, that you are worried that you are failing or even of how people will percieve you.

I have recieved so much loving support from my blog readers and I just feel so grateful to have this support network here.

Another thing that has helped me is knowing that there are other people in the same boat as me. I realise that there can be a point where this can become an excuse, but I just want to say to others out there, that you will know in yourself it is really an excuse or if it is more than that.  Don't let others put that pressure on you - and don't compare yourself to how everyone else is going.  Just because you don't have the same results, doesn't mean that you are any less of a person (I need to remember this too!!).  Make the program work for you and your situation!

All of the support has helped me over the last few days.  I feel much more relaxed and the pressure on myself has eased.  I even went and did a grocery shop and picked up some stuff to make some of my 'back to basics' meals that I used to have when I was losing weight on my own. I am actually looking forward to have something nutritious!

Thank you all for helping me!!

3 Weeks into Uni... and the TRUTH about where I have been....

WARNING: post contains revelations (and seems to have become a novel!)

3 Weeks into Uni... and already there have been tears (a lot actually!), major melt downs, stress, poor nutrition and lack of exercise...

I have been putting off this post for the last 2 weeks (since the 12WBT started), because, well... I felt like a failure...

I touched on this in my blogger challenge answer I wrote earlier today, however I don't think that post quite told you the whole truth - not that I was lying, but the point of the post was positivity lol, and I just didn't want to bring it down.

So, let's get to the crux of the problem - I wasn't coping with so many life changes going on at the same time, and I was putting far too much pressure on myself, which is not a good combination!! When I am stressed, not happy or just don't know how to handle a situation, I basically "shut down".  I avoid people, I don't ask for help, and I don't want people to see that I am struggling.  I guess, that maybe I don't want to admit to myself either... The problem with this was that I didn't put it out there where it usually helps me, and where I recieve a lot of support - here! On my blog. 

I have negleted my blog over the last couple of weeks, and I am so glad that I had the foresight to have all of the blogger challenge questions ready and scheduled, because otherwise, it just wouldn't have happened.

University isn't like I thought it would be... or to be more accurate, I'm not the uni student I thought I would be.  I have really struggled with my classes!!  I have had a lot of problems trying to comprehend topics (mostly chemistry), and I have spent so much time in my study it's, quite honestly, unbelievable.  I have barely seen my partner, and when I did I was usually in tears of frustration or stress, so the poor bugger hasn't had an easy time of being a boyfriend at the moment. 

I struggled with my subjects so much, that before week 2 was over I could see (thankfully!) that I wasn't doing so well, and recognise that something had to go... and in fact, it was 2 things... the 12WBT (don't panic, I will get to this in a moment!) and my Anatomy subject.  I simply couldn't focus on so much going on, especially with my priority being university at this point in time.  If I have any chance of surviving uni, I need to realise and accept that I am not Wonder Woman.  I am actually human and it is ok to not to try and do everything!

My main confusion (at this point in time!) to do with chemistry has been resolved and for the forst time in 3 weeks I don't feel as though my neck and back are just one giant knot. I feel semi-human again and that I might be able to do this.  Yes, my time is completely taken up by uni, work and studying around all of this (bedtimes are about 10.30pm atm, and that's basically filled with study from as soon as I get home for the day), however, the other day I had a bit of an epiphany... I can still loose weight if I try!!

My thinking on this, is that in all honesty, I don't think I will be following Mish's plan to a T, however I want to concentrate mostly on what I am eating. So, in my case, making sure I eat breakfast, eating a healthier lunch and making sure I am eating a healthy dinner.

I realise this probably sounds really simple, but I am going to make it even easier for myself.  I will be eating some of Mish's meals, however I am going to go back to some old faithful's from when I was losing weight on my own.  I won't be sticking to 1200 calories, but aiming for 1500 calories instead.

I have come to realise that at this point in time, I need to make things really easy on myself...  My partner is in the US for the next week, but I am not going to let this stop me. I am going to sit down with my Meal Planner app on my iPad and put in my meals I want to eat this week, get a shopping list and get all of my ingredients.  I think in a way, I want to use this time on my own to get back to where I was a year ago on my weightloss journey. I think that because I was single, it was actually a little easier for me foodwise.  I in no way blame  how I eat on my life now, it's just that it was a habit I was in a year ago, and so far I don't really have many healthy habits... I need to find that will that I used to have instead of being in a 'comfort place'.

I am lucky enough that B is supportive and is happy to cook meals but I think first off, I need to remember what my favourite healthy meals are...

Right now, it's time for me to get back to basics!!

So, while I still consider myself to be a part of this round, I won't be participating to the full extent. I realise that this isn't the best use of my participation to the program, but right now, I think it is the only way that I can participate.

My weightloss journey will be slow... but I will lose the weight!!

Blogger Challenge Answer: Week 2 - Positivity

This weeks challenge is to look at what are you actually TAKING up? What are you giving yourself? Are you learning something new? Taking up a new sport? Giving yourself a social life?

You know, when I initially wrote this post, I didn't think that I would be writing what I am about to...

First off, I have to say that this round hasn't gone to plan.  In fact, to give you an idea of where my plan is, if I was to stay completely still, my plan would have lapped me twice and is in Timbuktu.

While this has been the case, I have come to realise that this round, I am really giving myself something special... I am finding the balance!!

I am living a goal that I have had for the last couple of years - to go to university.  While this isn't directly 12WBT related, it is in reality such a huge gift to myself that I have been able to do with the help of my partner.

I have been looking at this year as my time. I am finally in a position not to have to worry about everything all by myself (money, mortgage, food, work, study).  I have an amazing partner who wants nothing more than to see me happy and to see me succeed.

While this probably doesn't seem like much of a connection to balance in my life, it really is as for years I have always wanted to be able to find some time to focus on myself, to work my way towards a goal and to have some freedom in my lifestyle and mindset to be able to actively work on who I am now!!

So, while I haven't followed Mish's plans - in any way, shape or form at this point in the round, I have come to realise that part of learning balance is not to stress myself out so much... which is a big undertaking let me tell you!! I am such a stresshead, and I know that this isn't good for me at all!!

It is now week 3 in uni, I am still ironing kinks out, I am still trying to figure out how my brain will retain all of this wonderful new knowledge, but I feel that by taking a step back I am able to find my centre and be able to look at my tasks and changes and ease myself into it, rather than panicking and wondering why I can't seem to do so much like others can (note to self (and anyone else listening!: don't compare yourself - make you life, tasks, work, study, etc work for you!! No one else has your life, and you don't have theirs - everyone copes differently!!)

So, basically, at this point in time I am giving myself time to cope with all of the BIG changes in my life and learning to take baby steps to get to my goals!

Blogger Challenge Week 2: Positivity

Usually when you make big lifestyle changes, the focus can be more on what you are giving up... This can make you feel like you are missing out and make you resent the choice you have made.

Something positive can always be found in a situation. The majority of participants are overweight, and have been so for years. Some may have been bullied, others are ashamed and it can be a struggle to look on the bright side. By starting out small and flipping a negative to a positive, you can turn those negative feelings into feelings of self worth and be happy with who you are. It might not seem possible now, but believe me - it works!!

So this weeks challenge is to look at what are you actually TAKING up? What are you giving yourself? Are you learning something new? Taking up a new sport? Giving yourself a social life?

If you are a little confused about what to do, please read through the blogger challenge instructions (opens in a new window).

To link your answer to this blog post, just click the add your blog button below. From here you paste the link for your actual post (not your blog). This weeks Blogger Challenge will close at 11:59pm on Wednesday 29th February 2012.

Blogger Challenge Answer: Week 1 - Introduction

Well, I suppose I should answer my own questions now!!

1. Tell us a little bit about yourself. What makes you, you?
   Let's see, I'm 27, I have just gone back to uni to study nutrition, I'm a crafter (mostly knitter), I live with my awesome partner and a gorgeous 3 year old girl.  I'm independant, outspoken, an expert procrastinator, a massive stress-head and I always (always!) bite off more than I can chew - if there is a task, I will make it harder! I have a sweet tooth, I always argue with myself in my head and I have recently gotten into gardening.
   
   
2. Why did you decide to do the 12WBT?
   I joined the 12WBT Round 3, 2011 to lose weight.  I didn't reach my goals, and I have come back to continue on my weightloss journey.
    
3. What are you hoping to achieve through the program?
   I would love to not have a sweet tooth.  I don't think that is possible, but I would also like to lose about 20-25kg and be able to maintain it. 
   
   
4. Why have you decided to blog about the 12WBT? What will be the main focus (eg, food, exercise, a bit of everything?)
   For me, it's everything.  I love chocolate and I am an emotional eater, so when I stress I wan't sweet foods.  I am also not a lover of exercising (give me my knitting or a good book any day!), but I would love to enjoy exercising and not have it be such a chore.
   
   
5. How will you be exercising this round? Gym, home, outdoors or a mixture?
   I will be exercising at the gym and at home.  I will also do a little bit of outdoors work when I meet up with the Capital Punishment 12WBT crew in Canberra.
   
   
6. What is your greatest strength that will help you?
   To be honest, I struggled with this question... my self confidence isn't as great as what it used to be... I suppose my greatest strength, is that I am always thinking about losing weight, so it's never far from my mind... other than that, I am a natural planner, so being organised helps.
   
   
7. What are you afraid of?
   Like most people, I am afraid of failing... again...
   What I try to remember is that if I don't try now, then I will be in the same place (if not worse off) in 6 months time.
   The other thing that worries me, is that I will let my fear of failure stop me from actually trying...
   
   
8. 
   What are you looking forward to the most over the next 12 weeks? My goal this round is to lose weight, but I think most of all, I want to be able to run 5km in a fun run... to know that I did it all on my own and that I worked hard for it.
   
   
9. What is your downfall? Food? Exercise? How will you overcome this?
   My biggest downfall is me!  I procrastinate and over analyse and then it doesn't get done.  I stress about the what if's that it actually paralyses and I don't get it done (Analysis Paralysis as Mish says!).
    
   
   
10. If you had to pick one word to motivate you over the next 12 weeks, what would you choose?
    I actually did have a word in mind when I asked this question, but I can't remember it at the moment... so for now, lets say
Routine

There it is!! First question answered!!!

Blogger Challenge Week 1: Introduction

Here we go!!  It's week 1 of Round 1 of the 2012 12 Week Body Transformation - By now you have completed all of your pre season tasks (If you haven't, do them!!  Really dig deep and be honest - it helps!!) and you are already a few days into the program.

It's all excitement at the moment.  You are changing your life!  You are working hard to make a happier, healthier version of yourself.  Everyone has come to the program for different reasons.  Yes, there are similarities, but everyone has a different background story - here is your chance to introduce yourselves and get the ball rolling.

If you are a little confused about what to do, please read through the blogger challenge instructions (opens in a new window).

1. Tell us a little bit about yourself.  What makes you, you?
2. Why did you decide to do the 12WBT?
3. What are you hoping to achieve through the program?
4. Why have you decided to blog about the 12WBT? What will be the main focus (eg, food, exercise, a bit of everything?)
5. How will you be exercising this round? Gym, home, outdoors or a mixture?
6. What is your greatest strength that will help you?
7. What are you afraid of?
8. What are you looking forward to the most over the next 12 weeks?
9. What is your downfall? Food? Exercise? How will you overcome this?
10. If you had to pick one word to motivate you over the next 12 weeks, what would you choose?

Happy answering!!

To link your answer to this blog post, just click the add your blog button below. From here you paste the link for your actual post (not your blog). This weeks Blogger Challenge will close at 11:59pm on Wednesday 22nd February 2012.

12WBT Blogging Challenge - Join in!

Well, today is the first day of round one, which means that the blogging challenge will be kicking off this Friday morning at 9am!!!

I am really looking forward to reading the responses!!  Don't forget to link your post (not your whole blog!) to the question so that others can read your response!  I would love for you all to read and comment on as many posts as you can - really help your 12WBT family out!!

For anyone interested in joining in, check out the Blogger Challenge post here.

Are You Serious!?!

Before we headed over to the in-laws for dinner, I thought I would quickly do my 1km time trial for my first fitness test.  I did all of the other parts of the test last night and this was the only one I had left to do.

Unlike last round's fitness tests, I now have a 'legitimate' track - one that is already marked out at 500m - meaning no more calculations with google maps! All of my runs from now on will be the same length.

Now, you are probably confused by the title of this post, but I need to just say again:

Are You Serious!?!

I can't believe I am about to tell you all this, but I ran (mostly) 1km in 7 minutes 26 seconds!!!!  That means that I am in the intermediate category!!!

I am so surprised as I thought that I would have lost all of my fitness during my "mopey off season"!

The results of the other portions of my test are as follows:

• Push ups: 35 on knees
• Sit and reach: +3cm
• Ab test: 0 (totally as expected)
• Wall sit: 17 seconds

These are all worse than my last fitness test results, however other than the ab test, they are all better than my first fitness test last round - which I count as a positive!!

So, I'm off now to check out the intermediate exercise section on the 12wbt site!!

 

Task 8: Measure Up

Ok... so now we are up to the final task... what I have been putting off doing since week 11 of the last round... measurements...

So, I spose I should just get straight into it!!

Week 1
Saturday 11 February

		Change	Total Loss
Weight:	tbc	n/a	n/a
R Arm:	29.5cm	n/a	n/a
L Arm:	30.5cm	n/a	n/a
Bust:	114cm	n/a	n/a
Waist:	124cm	n/a	n/a
Hips:	125cm	n/a	n/a
R Thigh:	71cm	n/a	n/a
L Thigh:	70.5cm	n/a	n/a

So, the measurements were as expected. When I weigh in tomorrow morning I will update it and will probable also put in my body fat % as well.

I just had B take my before photo... looks about the same as last round one... so glad no one else gets to see that one!!

I am planning on doing my fitness test time trial tomorrow morning before I have to go to work... to be honest, it's probably the only time I will get to do it.

Task 7: Organise & Diarise

Ok... here we are!

This is my favourite part of the pre season tasks - planning!!

Luckily for me, I have had my upcoming schedule booked in for a couple of weeks now as I am now at uni and definitely need to plan my life to avoid catastrophe!

I have created a pic of my schedule (below) - please try not to be scared (as I am!!) at how full it is.  I have had to fit in uni, work and my workouts into my week as well as taking some time out for me (saturday mornings).  It all looks a little chaotic, but I really hope that it's doable.  I have spent every moment of my free time in the last week dedicated to studying and I'm not yet where I would like to be! Hopefully the exercise and healthier foods will help my concentration levels!

To keep it simple, basically all of the purple are my workouts :)

Milestones

So, another part of this task is to come up with a 4, 8 and 12 week milestone.  Luckily for me, there are 3 fun runs in Canberra around those times!!

Week 4 - Sri Chinmoy 4km Fun Run/Walk - 12th March 2012

Week 8 - ActewAGL Women's & Girls 5km Fun Run/Walk - 1st April 2012

Week 12 - Mother's Day Classic 5km Fun Run - 13th May 2012

This one will be the BIG one - I have actually signed up to do the run!!!! (You can sponsor me below by clicking on the picture if you would like to)

I also have no excuses for not doing them, as I have already signed up to the Sri Chinmoy and the MDC.  I would have signed up to the other one as well, but their registrations aren't open yet.

Can't believe I want to be a runner... lol!

Task 5: Say It Out Loud

Last round I got stuck on this pre season task, however, I have to say that this time I have found it even harder.

I have lost pretty much all of my self confidence when it comes to the program.  I am struggling to honestly believe that I can do this; that I can stick to it and that I can just get it done.

I struggle with the belief that this will be the last time I do this, that it's for life and overall that I can stick to the program.  It is amazing how many mind games there are when it comes to weightloss, and I think that battling your inner demons has to be (for me at least) the hardest part of the whole journey.  I mean, how do you get yourself up and out of bed and on your way to the gym when you can't find a positive thing to relate to yourself and your weightloss journey?

The key is (and what I keep trying to tell myself) to become a robot and just do it (or JFDI as Mish says). I know that when I exercise and eat right I feel amazing - and that includes my mental health, but it doesn't mean that it isn't hard.

So, in saying that, I am making my commitment.

1. Exercise each day.  Don't beat myself up if you don't crack 500 calories each session. Push myself, but not so that I burn out
2. Eat the best that I possibly can.  Eating veges every night and no more take away.
3. Eat atleast 1 piece of fruit per day.
4. Drink more water! Lay off the diet coke
5. Learn to run - do the C25K program so that I can run the whole way in a fun run
6. Don't compare myself to others! Everyone is different and has different lifestyles.
7. Exercise in the mornings - it's done and dusted and my day hasn't started yet
8. Focus mainly on excercise - just get it done. The weight will come off - just do the right thing.
9. Get to more group workouts - I feel so much better when I don't feel like I am on my own
10. Remember that I can succeed at what I want - just keep going and keep exercising.

Avoidance

I always comment on how my Dad is an ostrich... once things get a little confrontational he sticks his head in the sand and doesn't want to know about it.  I always thought I was the complete opposite, that I always go charging in and get stuff done...

Today I realised that I have in fact inherited the "ostrich trait" from my father. 

There are just some things that when they become a little uncomfortable for me I tend to 'shut down' and just block it all out, as though avoiding it will make it go away.

I will be honest (as I always am here lol) and tell you all that I have been avoiding anything 12WBT related ever since the commitment preseason task came out.  Just like last round, the commitment task has me completely panicky.  Why?! Because I don't have the confidence in myself to be able to back myself up.

I know who I want to commit myself to (myself, my partner and my friend), but I feel as though I would be lying as I can't seem to make myself believe that I will follow this program through.  Right now, I can't seem to commit to anything... eating, exercise, cleaning out the kitchen, wanting to cook and I have no enthusiasm for any of it.

So, why am I telling you all about this? Well, I figured if I am feeling this way, there must be other people out there who are feeling similar to me.  Plus, I realised that I have been avoiding blogging about anything here for fear of bringing too much negativity to my page and to the people who read this blog.

However - negative thought processes are part of the inward battle of weight loss and the only way (for me at least) to start working through them is to actually get it all out there, and for me to work through them... and part of that process seems to be to blog about it as I tend to find it quite therapeutic.

So, Round 1 kicks off on Monday, I am yet to find any enthusiasm for it, however I only have 3 days to get through the last half of my preseason tasks, so hopefully that will incite some enthusiasm.