Why I decided to study Nutrition

With this being my 200th post (HOORAY!!!!), I thought I would spend some time reflecting on why I decided to study nutrition.

 

I did write a post at the beginning of last year outlining some of the basics, but with a few new things coming up for B and I as well as my recent freaking out about not being able to manage my time and not feeling like I am getting anywhere, I figured I needed a bit of a reminder.

 

The real reason I decided I wanted to study nutrition was to be able to help people. When I lost 20kg before I had people coming to me for advice, which I would happily give based on what I had done... healthy eating, moderation and exercise... nothing gimmicky. A few of my friends have taken up that advice (given over skim lattes at McCafe lol) and have lost a lot of weight.

 

By losing the weight I did, I found a passion... something I had never had before.  I could talk about losing weight and healthy eating for hours. I loved to read about nutrition, finding healthy recipes and I loved the energy I had.

 

Over the last few years of studying, I have come to a few conclusions about weight loss, obesity and our society, and these are things that I would like to help 'fix':

• Knowledge is important! A lot of the food knowledge is being lost in the new world of convenience.
• A lot of people don't understand what makes one food healthier over another.  People will believe what companies tell them.
• A lot of people don't know how to cook... and don't know about flavours or what a lot of fruit and veggies are... and the truth is that these are still things I am learning.
• People are less inclined to think about where their food has come from, and even what their food actually is or what it contains. Additionally, people are unaware of how food is supposed to taste... this was a big eye opener for me!
• Convenience has made it's way into our lives in so many forms; from food to transport.  Fresh foods are seen as a hassle now and no one wants to walk to the shops now that we have cars

I also feel that I have grown as a person since deciding to go to university. I love combining my love of learning, nutrition, gardening and sustainability and combining them all together to create meals. By using the scraps from the kitchen I am able to nourish my garden to grow delicious, nutrient-rich foods that can be used in my cooking, and then those scraps are returned to the garden once again to continue the cycle.

 

I love that not only am I learning how all of this can come together to produce foods and meals that have a lot of nutrients, but I am able to pass this knowledge on to Miss 5 who will hopefully know a lot more than I did when I started... and will hopefully know a lot more than my generation does about what they are actually eating and what their lifestyles mean.

Hoping to make a comeback!

Over the last few days I have been thinking about how much I miss blogging.  Don't get me wrong... nothing has changed really, I'm still busy as hell, overthink everything, am too hard on myself and feel like I have poor time management skills, but have really missed being able to lay myself bare and reach out to people.

 

I am still (*ahem* back...) doing Weight Watchers, and I am still really enjoying it and  I have met some wonderful women also doing WW who have really helped me and been a fantastic support. I did have a short break from WW, which was about 2-3 months, but in that time we moved house, I changed stores for work, lost my Nana which I am still grieving and also became quite sick (basically bedridden for 2 weeks) and also managed a trip to the dentist (I have a phobia, trust me, that's significant!).

 

I am very proud to say though, that during that time I hovered around the same weight, so while I was off-plan and not eating very well at all, something must have stuck because I at least don't feel like I am back at the beginning, which has been such a big issue for me in the past.  I am currently sitting at my second mini goal which will get me to a loss of 10kg, I still have 4.9kg to get to that, and I am hopeful for a good weigh in this week.

 

Mentally, I actually feel really at peace and confident that I can succeed.  At the beginning of the week I had a bit of meltdown and fully realised just how truly unhappy I am with my weight and just how much my body image and self confidence have suffered because of it.  I am not saying that weight loss will be the miracle cure to fix it, but I do believe it will be a step in the right direction

 

While speaking with some of the WW girls supporting me I came across some older pictures of me where I was at different weights. Usually I would be horrified and ashamed of what I have done to my body, especially after working so hard to lose the weight in the first place, but now I can look at these pictures and see them as inspiration or goals.

 

 

A few of my friends have been running recently, and I have always had it in my head that "I am not a runner", "I cannot do it"... but recently I have been questioning it.  I love the idea of running, but am unsure of whether or not it is for me... at this point in time I am still pondering...

 

As I am technically on uni holidays (although still studying for deferred exams), I am attempting to fit exercise back into my life. I am hoping to do this through fitness videos, free weights and a barbell set and once again the Wii and Xbox fitness games.

 

Also, to save your guys from the continuous onslaught of gardening and sustainability posts, I have started up a new blog here, where if you are interested you can follow me there too!

 

Hopefully I will be around to post more.  Weigh ins, as always, are on a Wednesday... that's a good place to start! If you are still around and reading, please say Hi... I do love getting comments on my blog and always try to reply to each one!

I think I'm back?

You may have noticed that I have added a couple of posts over the last few days... I have been thinking about coming back and posting again... but thought I would wait for some kind of milestone... looks like I can't wait that long! lol

 

So, how about an update?

 

I have been keeping things really quiet lately as I really was sick of posting stuff up only to "fail" or at least fall behind. After 3 months or so, I finally feel as though my head is in the right space.  Things seem to be falling into place, at least weight loss and uni wise.

 

Over the last few months I have had a chance to really think things through, with no pressure, no goals and no obligations. It took a fair bit of soul searching, but I have finally come to peace with my new way of life and how I can fit things in/work things out.

 

In early January after a little holiday I signed up to Weight Watchers again, and this time, it's working!  My goals have been simple with my weightloss:

• no comparing myself to others
• taking it slowly
• not getting worked up on "the right way", just doing what works for me at the time
• aiming to lose 500g a week, but not beating myself up if I don't make it (hasn't happened yet lol)

Before uni I was exercising everyday, now that uni has gone back I'm not doing any.  While this isn't ideal, my experiences from last year proved that it's just not going to happen... and that's ok, so my focus will be on my diet.

I am breaking my weightloss down into 5kg mini goals. To me this is much more achievable, as you all know I have struggled to lose 5kg in one hit in a long time.

Rather than aiming for my healthy BMI range weight of 75kg, I have decided to aim for 85kg, as that was a weight I was able to maintain for a long time.  I am even thinking of just maintaining at that weight for 6 months or so, to let my body, brain and mindset catch up.

Anyway, onto the stats that I know that you all want to hear.  Since the 9th of January, I have lost 3.6kg, which is more than the 500g a week!  Pretty happy with that! So far I have even lost 11cm in a month.  I am due for more measurements as of this week.

So, sticking with my no pressure rule, I will stick with updating when I can, with no set routine. 

Hope to see you all soon!

Checking in....

I have a little bit of time before my anatomy lecture, so I thought I would do a quick post to let you all know that I am still around.

I'm a bit all over the place at the moment, I want to just get on with this whole weightloss thing, but it always seems to just get pushed to the side when everything else comes up. I don't want it to be this way. I want to get back into it and I want it to be how it was before... Eating better, regular exercise and feeling great.... Oh, and fitting into my clothes!!!

Sadly, I just don't think it can be like that again. I finally understand how people struggle when they have a family and how many time restraints there are, not to mention just feeling exhausted!

I don't want this to be my excuse though, I am far too stubborn to give up and to let it beat me... I figure as long as I am trying to do what I can and make better decisions the better I am in general.

Poor planning = piss poor performance

And this is where I am at he moment. I haven't done any meal planning, I've been busy with a little money to do a proper grocery shop and overwhelmed by Uni atm (exams in 3 weeks and I'm not doing so well!)

What I am thinking at the moment is that in 4 weeks Uni will be done for the year, while I will be (hopefully) taking on more shifts, I think it will be less pressure and stress overall and I would like to spend the summer time focussing on weightloss and hopefully putting some routines in place so that when Uni comes back I can keep those going.

20 Day Cleaning/Organising Challenge: Day 2

Day 2: Master Bedroom - Organised Housewife

Today was another day off in the uni world... and by day off I mean I am supposed to be studying at home... while my house is getting cleaner (and I am loving it!), it is exhausting and I am struggling to study... which is not good considering I am already behind on my uni work.  I have to admit, it's going to be interesting to see how all of this works on days that I am working!!

Is it sad that it's only day 2 and I am already exhausted?? haha!

Anyway, today was all about the master bedroom, and we had a list of tasks to do there.  I didn't think it would take as long as it did, but that's because I really got into it and dusted, wiped down and vacuumed every surface you could think of!  The list for today was:

Clean: Main Bedroom

Basically, the job was to get this room cleaned and sorted out... and we had a lot of clothes... everywhere!!  We had so much rubbish and junk everywhere... it was nuts!! And the dust! Oh the dust!!! The list was:

Strip the bed sheets off the bed

Wash all bedding

Place decorative cushions on line in sunshine for a few hours to help remove dustmites

Vacuum mattress

Flip mattress if you have not done in the past 3 months

Pick up and put away all clothing

Pick up and put/throw away all paper clutter

Pick up and put/throw away all other clutter

Dust all surfaces, bedside tables, dressing tables, mirrors, picture frames

Dust ornaments

Vacuum ceiling fan to remove dust that has settled during winter

Vacuum the floor, including under the bed

Place clean bedding on your bed

Of these, I didn't do some as we don't have cushions or a ceiling fan and I didn't flip the mattress as we got one that doesn't need to be flipped.

I also have to say, I have never vacuumed a mattress before!  Is that something that everyone does??  It's a good idea though!!

Declutter: Bedroom Surfaces

For this task, I did get rid of a few things.  I bought all the dvds back downstairs, I got rid of all of the rubbish around the tables, and there were a few other bits and pieces that I could either throw away or combine with other stuff.

Organise: Top Drawer Bedside Table

Now, I didn't actually do this... mostly because I don't use it.  I did however get rid of the rubbish inside it (chocolate wrappers... *blush*)

New Habit: Make Bed Every Morning

Done! Mostly because I stripped the bed, but I did also make the bed yesterday too! Winning!!

5 Minutes Only: Wipe Over Dining Chairs

Another one I didn't do... but this is because we don't have dining chairs.

One thing that I do want to do though, is add a few more pictures to our room.  Photos or artwork, whatever.  When I was out earlier running errands I did actually have a look for some in the hopes of surprising B when he got home... but I didn't find any that I liked.

On a side note, I meant to write last night that when Miss 4 got home and seen the clean kitchen she seemed quite concerned "But where did all our stuff go?!". Haha!!  Speaking of Miss 4, she has also embraced her new chores, in fact when B went in to get her up this morning I heard "Daddy, I made my bed!!"

 

As you can see, I did before and after pictures again, and... I am more than a little embarrassed... however, our room looks so nice and airy now!!

 

 

 

 

 

Just a little update... well... maybe a long one!

Well, I thought I would pop in with a bit of an update... as even though I will be doing the cleaning/organising challenge and will be blogging about it on here, the  weight loss aspect of my life hasn't stopped.

Don't get me wrong, I actually think that having the house tidy and organised will be beneficial for weight loss as hopefully I won't feel so cluttered and enclosed and will feel a little more 'free' in myself, but I am hoping to also find time to continue blogging about my wins/losses and everything in between.

Now, I do have to tell you all that for the last week, I have been... 'off'... with my eating and exercise habits.  I know I was getting better at it, so what happened?! I hear you say... well... in truth... it was the fact that I was being 'good' and watching what I was eating and everything via the Weight Watchers plan... and I wasn't losing weight... I basically maintained for 3 weeks!  Now, I know it seems silly, but at the beginning of changing to eating healthy foods and cutting down portion sizes and bad foods, you would think there would be some kind of a loss right?!

Nope.

So, while I didn't necessarily throw a tanty, I did just kind of go 'meh' to it all and haven't tracked, counted or exercised... in fact, I will admit to losing momentum.

On the plus side, we haven't really had any take away (except for birthday/father's day celebrations) and I have been aiming to cook every night, so I am actually really happy with this, as I am still pretty determined to live a healthier lifestyle. Looks like something stuck!!  YAY!

Two steps forward, one step back.

With the exercise side of things... I have decided that I will definitely be cancelling my gym membership, so I will be emailing them tomorrow.  I do enjoy going to the gym, but I am really just not in that frame of mind at the moment.  We now have both the Xbox and the Wii set up and as I am at home most of the time I am hoping to get a routine in place for using the games we have for exercise (as I have done in the past)... right now I think that simplicity is key.

Also, when I decided to do WW again, I popped down to a local meeting to pick up a pedometer.  I have actually found it really interesting to see how many steps I do when I am around uni, but mostly when I am at work.  Even on a half day at work I can work up 10,000-12,000 steps!!! CRAZY!!  Definitely means I was right when I initially said that I get a workout at work so would just exercise on days when I wasn't working!! No wonder work is so tiring!!

Uni at the moment is about to start week 4... and somehow I have managed to fall behind... it seems that my 'great plan' has failed as I have been out and about and haven't actually done the pre-study that I wanted to do.  However, I have found that this method really does work well for me... I just need to bloody do it!!  I think the key right now (after I actually catch up!!) is to mark out sections that I want to do each night in preparation and tick those off as a task for each day.  One benefit of uni is that each semester I am learning about how I study best, and then learning to fine tune it.

I have also been meaning to tell you all that I have received the blue dress to the right of the screen for the wedding.  As soon as I finish the shrug I am currently working on I may post a sneak preview of the outfit (I will have to find the shoes first!) The shrug is a mauve colour, and I think it will suit the dress well.  I did make a shrug in a teal/silver, but I really didn't like the look or texture of it.  Maybe I will need to do a photo of each to show you all??

I am feeling a lot better since my emotional outpouring the other day, some of those things are still on my mind, but I am hoping that I can fix them or at least work with/around them.

I have just celebrated my 28th birthday, and I had an absolute blast when I went out last night (there will probably be a gain this week though!!) I was able to celebrate it with friends and family and just being able to get out and relax/have fun/get out of the house was some really good medicine.

There has also been a bit of talk in my family of my mother (who passed when I was 8) and a recent death of a great uncle who was a wonderful man, does bring home the realisation that there are worse things out there, and to try not to stress, to live life, love and have fun.  I am not good at living by this, I wish I was, but at least for now I am trying not to stress and to put some routines in place so that things won't be so overwhelming in the future.

 

What's life without a little drama...

Well, my life has been filled with drama... hence the lack of posts...

My world was turned upside down when someone broke into our house last Sunday night... they went through every room and every cupboard and tipped the house upside down.  They even went through my car looking for valuables!

We had decided to go out to the movies (btw, Ted is hilarious!!) and when we got home we found the back window had been taken off and a house that was complete chaos!

They made off with both of our laptops, both of our tablets (my poor, poor ipad!), both of our credit cards, my debit card, about 53 xbox games, some dvds, my uni bag (including my stats calculator), plus other stuff... all in all, about $8000 worth of our possessions

Needless to say, we are exausted from this as well as the aftermath of cancelling cards, liasing with police, getting fingerprints done, dealing with insurance companies and real estate agents...

My uni work has suffered from all of this and I am supposed to have an exam next week and I just cant seem to focus... 

In all of this though, B, Miss 4 and I were supposed to go away for a few days to Bendigo for the Wool and Sheep Show as well as to see/stay with friends there, in the end, myself and a friend went down as B didn't want me to miss out.

It was really great to be removed from the situation and have a bit of a break.  I got back on Sunday night and I feel like a new person!  (Although, I am pretty tired at the moment lol)

It would seem that I got back to town at just the right time as I got a call at 3.30am yesterday morning with the news that my nephew's girlfriend had just gone into labour... so off I went to my sister's place to look after my youngest nephew, whom I had all day and even had a sleep over last night as the little baby was born very late last night.

I'm looking forward to meeting the little man today, but as my sister had been up for pretty much 24 hours straight, I'm letting her get a sleep in while my nephew and I hang out again today.

I haven't forgotten about my weightloss goals (although they were severely set aside during my time away - road trips just aren't healthy when there are bakeries everywhere.... hmmmmmm.... yummy...), but for the next couple of weeks the exercise will be put on hold during exam time...

I am now entering the serious study zone...

Mini PT Session: Feel the BURN!

Well, I had my PT session today and OMG... I can feel my muscles!!!  I am 99% sure I will have DOMS over the next couple of days!!

I had a about a half hour session with a PT at my gym, I quite like him.  He is probably the first PT I have felt comfortable around and, well I wouldn't say relaxed, but relaxed as much I could be in that kind of situation.

I gotta say... it was pretty hard!!  Some of the exercises I struggled to get through (really struggled!!) but I think the part that I found the hardest was that, well... I was embarrassed!  It was through no fault of my PT, but I was reminded by how much I could do... and what I really struggle with now. I was also a little embarrassed that I was 'performing' in front of a bunch of blokes in the weights area... A year ago it wouldn't have bothered me, and I would have just gone in and done what I needed to do, but I felt insecure because of what I felt I couldn't do.

However, in saying that, I am really trying to focus on the positives, like "Now I can really see how much I will improve!", "How great will it be when you need to up your weights!" and "At least your not sitting on the couch anymore!"

There were a few exercises I didn't think I would be able to do due to my injury that I am really excited that I can do (namely the rowing machine!) and I am excited that I get to use the assisted chin up machine... for some strange, twisted reason, I just love this machine... no idea why... must be because I have to climb to get onto it, or more than likely cos I just feel so damn tough! haha!!  There was one point though where I did tell the PT "I really hate you right now..." so, he must have been pushing me lol

I am thinking that I might put another tab at the top of this page where I can put in my starting exercise regime and use it as a "milestone achiever" so that I can see how much I improve.

The plan he has given me (below) is for 3 days a week, and he has suggested that on the other days that I go for an hours walk... I might be able to do that around here (if I am going to drive anywhere to walk it will probably be the gym after work lol), but I am tempted to drive 10 minutes up the road in the mornings and walk at Googong... maybe once a week or something... will have to think about it... I spose I could go to the town park... but walking circles around that is a bit too boring for me... and I love doing bushwalks...

So, my current gym work out will be like this:

Warm Up

• 5 minutes Cross-Trainer

Strength

• Deadlifts: 3 sets of 8 (bar only)
• Squats (touch chair): 3 sets of 8 (5kg plate)
• Pull ups: 3 sets of 10 (70kg)
• Wide Grip Seated Cable Row: 3 sets of 12 (10kg)

Circuit/Toning

• Push ups: 3 sets of 10 (4 steps under platform) alternate with rower
• Rowing Machine: 3 sets of 200m (level 6)
• Swiss Ball Wall Squat: 3 sets of 10 (as low as possible) alternate with bike
• Bike: 3 sets of 200m
• Push Press: 3 sets of 10 (25 pounds) alternate with cross-trainer
• Cross Trainer: 3 sets of 200m

Core

• Plank: 3 sets of 30 seconds
• Superman: 3 sets of 20

So it's actually a pretty intense session... well, at this point in time I think it is!! I don't know how I am going to get through it all!!! I only did about half an hour today and burned 276 calories! It's gonna be a good challenge though I think!!  I now have another session with him for the same time next Monday.  I was supposed  to stay today and finish off the session (as I pretty much only did 1 rep of everything), but I found out yesterday that they moved my statistics exam 2 days earlier!! GAH! So I came straight home and got stuck into the study again!

A few weeks ago I came across this picture and filed it away for future reference (I think I may have found it on facebook lol), but this was me today...

Uni Results

Hi All

I was just having a little 'chat' with Debby on her blog (The Tardis) where she mentioned my uni work, and I realised that after all of my previous posts on my uni work, I should probably let you know about my actual results!!

My first semseter of uni was quite stressful (as you probably read from my frantic posts), but honestly, it was quite enjoyable!!  I am so appreciative that I have been able to go to full time study, and I love to learn, so it's a great combination!

So, anyway, I have just completed Chemistry 1A, Concepts in Biology and Psychology 101.  The only subject that I was really worried about was Chemistry, as it has a high fail rate and it's not exactly the easiest subject!! All I wanted to do was pass Chemistry 1A as I couldn't go ahead and do Chemistry 1B until I had passed.... and I did struggle with chemistry a bit!

Anyway, my results were:

• Chemistry 1A: Credit (even better than a pass, but I can tell you now... I studied my arse off for that credit!!!)
• Concepts in Biology: Credit
• Psychology 101: Distinction

So, I have to say I am really proud of what I achieved!!!

At the moment, I am back at uni again, as I have decided to do subjects in the Winter Term.  This term is half the time of a full semester, so the units are condensed.  I am doing Introduction to Statistics and Indigenous History and Self Expression.

I have decided that for my electives, I want to do Indigenous subjects as I have always had an interest and I would like to have a better understanding, especially in Indigenous Health (a subject that I will be doing in Semester 2 - along with Chemistry 1B and Systemic Anatomy &  Physiology.)

Meltdown

Well, I am pre-menstral and I came across some photos of me when I was at my lightest tonight.... cue meltdown.

In all honesty, I think the part that I struggle with the most in regards to my weight loss comes down to 2 key factors; that I put on so much weight in such a short amount of time; and that I can't seem to find the person I used to be...

Don't get me wrong though, I really love my life at the moment, everything I was wishing for a couple of years ago has come true and I am achieving things that I didn't think I would be able to (eg, going to uni full time).

I have always been a "If you don't like it, then fix it" kinda gal, and I have to admit that I have avoided my blog for fear of sounding like a broken record.  Not so long ago I was posting about all of my awesome achievements, and it seems like now, I just can't get my shit together.

I am so ashamed of myself that I have put on all of the weight that I had lost, and while people tell me that "it's ok, that's life" or "you know that you can do it again", just makes me so sad because last time it took me about 4 years to lose 25 kilos... and in all honesty, thinking about doing it all again literally just makes me cry.

Why is it that everytime something sweet passes my lips I think "It's ok, it won't make that much of a difference", when I do know that it does...

It's not completely the weight gain factor, it is also the fact that I have reverted back to my eating habits of a single student... I can't believe how much takeaway and processed foods I eat... which makes me tired and cranky....

I do love the way I feel eating fresh foods and exercising, but because of my now sedentary lifestyle and lack of nutritious foods, I have no energy and have gotten myself into this cycle where I am too "tired and lazy".

The sad part is, for someone who had conquered all of her negative talk and had so much self confidence, I really don't feel worthy, or even as though I can do it... because I can't seem to stick it out and get my shit sorted....

Today was the first day that I actually felt like I could go to the gym, hell, I even got dressed in my gym clothes.... and then, I didn't go... why?!  I have no idea.... it was like all of my motivation disappeared... and in a way... maybe I was too scared to face the gym... I kept thinking about all of the weight I have put on and what I looked like... and that I was embarrassed to actually be seen at the gym (ridiculous or what?!)  I busted that fear years ago.... but that was also after losing 15kg... I was also worried about my knee... but I figure if I can stand and walk around for 8 hours at work, then I should be able to do a little bit of C25K for 30 minutes....

If I am 100% honest.... I think I am wanting something instantaneous.... I know that I need to do this for myself, but for the first time in such a long time.... I actually feel helpless and have no confidance in my ability to lose the weight.. I can help but think "What's the point?!"

I have decided that I need to stop being so concerned about what people think of me, and what I write and just put it out there and get all of this off my chest... in the hopes that it will help my journey.  It is nothing against you all, more that I need to stop avoiding my feelings and actually get them out there... and not be so concerned that I might be percieved as a whinger...

B and I have been talking tonight (during the meltdown) and come to the decision that we both need to start working out... and while neither of us are morning people, it seems that's the time that we really need to get it done... plus I love how I feel after exercising in the mornings.

I really need to stop being such an all-or-nothing person.  The truth is that I am human, I eat crappy foods sometimes... and... I am ok with that!!  I do have a lot on my plate, I can't dedicate most of my time on weightloss these days... food is harder to organise now... there is more cooking and less leftovers, there is also uni and running around after Miss 4 as well as trying to spend time with B.

I am hoping that now that 1st Semester is done, I know what to expect, and can work everything in.... with less stress preferably... It will take time... and I won't be ace at it to start with.... I don't like not being good at something (did I mention I was an all-or-nothing kinda gal?!) so this will take some strong internal dialogue.

What I really need to do.... is make a committment.... and anyone who has read this blog while I was doing the 12WBT would know that I really struggle with making a committment... but, I'm going to MAKE myself do it here and now.... no putting it off!!!

I commit myself to exercise 3 mornings a week, on days that I am not working, by doing the C25K program.

This is the first step in my rehabilitation... the reason I have chosen to not exercise on work days is only because I am spending so much time running around as it is, I think that I shouldn't put too much pressure on my knee all on one day... so I'll spread it out so that my knee is getting a work out almost every day.

Weigh In Wednesday

It's been over a week since my last post, but that hasn't been in avoidance, more like a preoccupation...  You see, the exam period has started (first exam was this morning) and I have been in study mode, which means locking myself in the study and having my head stuck in textbooks and online resources.

I have studied so much lately that I feel as though I haven't seen B in weeks, other than at meal times or for a quick coffee break... However, my last exam is on Monday (with my second one tomorrow... chemistry... yay...)

Now, usually at this time of high stress I want comfort foods... namely chocolate, however, I have to say I have been pretty bloody good!  We are still doing Lite n' Easy and it has been a blessing not having to worry about food.  All we need to do is heat it up.  Of course there have been a few things that we don't like, but we have at least tried them and now will choose the alternative option.

We are about to head into our 3 week of doing LnE, and as I didn't post last week, I realise that you all have no idea about my weigh ins! haha!! So, here is a quick little update.

As our LnE week starts on a Friday night (dinner being the first meal), Wednesday kind of comes into the middle of that, but last week I lost 500g. Which I think is awesome for only a few days.  This morning I weighed in and I have lost another 1kg, meaning so far I have lost 1.5kg.

It is such a relief to see my weight going down, but in truth, I think the part I am enjoying the most is the convenience.  It is also great knowing I am eating nutritious and balanced foods, and not feeling like I am missing out.

I really can't wait until exams are finished.  I am just feeling so exhausted at the moment, and in truth, I think that sheer stubborness is holding a cold at bay, so I have a feeling that I will be sick next week, but I will be trying to get some Vitimin C into me this week to help out!

Getting Back On Track... And It Feels Awesome!

I have been meaning to write this post since Friday, but have just not managed to do it.  Admittedly, I have been focussing on uni and getting my final report done for biology and with exam starting next week I think it will be heads down, bums up... and probably an iritiable and stressed out student!

However, we started on Lite n' Easy on Friday after our first delivery.  I was hoping to have some photos to pop in here, but the delivery came while I was at work. At the moment, I am doing 7 days of lunches and dinners and so far I am loving it.  It has really taken the hassle out of everything (especially as yesterday I had to work in the morning with a baby shower in the afternoon and barely anytime to get lunch, but B was able to quickly get it ready as I ran around the house getting ready). I have left off breakfasts as I usually like to have porridge or cereal anyway, so it works out well.

I do have to confess that I have had a bit of chocolate as I have been more than a little hormonal, but not as much as I ususally would (we have put the rest of the chocolate in the freezer as I really hate cold chocolate - so I would have to really want it lol!) and yesterday I did have 2 cup cakes at the baby shower, but overall I have been sticking to it and I have already had more fruit & veggies than I usually would - and I love it!

I have decided to keep my weigh ins as Wednesdays, so that it just stays as that in my mind, plus I like the idea of weighing in with everyone else. I think I am still a 12WBTer at heart!

As for exercise, I really need to get back into it, and so far I have been all talk.  However, months ago I did sign up to do the 5km run for the Mother's Day Classic (this coming Sunday), and I have decided that I will still be participating, however I have emailed them and asked them to switch me to the 5km walk for a couple of reasons; a) I haven't been training and I wouldn't be able to run it and b) I don't want to push my knee and do any further damage to it.  I think that a walk would be a good way to see how I go and I am hoping the fun atmosphere will help break my exercise drought.

I have also decided that after my exams are done (or perhaps even before lol) that I want to start going to the gym 3 days a week.  I think right now I want to try and do the C25K.  It has been playing on my mind a bit since my previous post on running. I would love to be able to run in a fun run... I think that in a way, it would be one of those moments that I know that I could accomplish anything, as I have always told myself that I could never run.

I have also considered maybe trying to do another fitness test like in the 12WBT... but I am unsure.  I do like that it would be a great way to measure results, but I am still undecided.

What a Relief!!

Just a little uni update!

After my freak out a couple of weeks ago in regards to my chemistry exam I am really happy to report that I didn't do nearly as bad as what I thought I did!

Don't get me wrong, it's not a good mark, but it is excellent in comparison to what I thought I was going to get (which woulld mean that I thought I would be lucky to even get 5%). 

It seems that even though I panicked and left pretty much all of my questions without a final answer, I still managed to get 30%.  This also still means that I am still technically passing chemistry at the moment (I do well in my labs and tutes).

So, next step is to get in touch with the lecturer and have a chat about the best way for me to proceed.  All I need to do now is to get at least 40% in my final test.

"You are a very visual learner"

So, after a couple of sad, frustrating and stress filled days, I have been thinking a lot about 'my kind of learning', as in how can I study/learn better that works well for me. I have always thought I was a visual learner, but I know that this can change over time, so I went googling (or binging as the case may be lol) and I came across a couple of articles, including a quiz.

This is the result I got:

You are a very visual learner.
You probably use visual references a lot and say things like "I see now" or "I get the picture." You like to see demonstrations, diagrams, slides, charts, and other visual aids in the classroom. You take great notes and you probably use color coded highlighting. You could benefit by drawing outlines of your notes and creating pictures of processes or events that you study. Always write down explanations and instructions. Use flash cards when available.

Funnily enough, I do actually write in different colours, and I had a bit of a chuckle.  You see, this is what my notebook looks like:

My chemistry notebook - isn't it pretty??

There are 4 different colours on that page!  I also use different colours to write out my flash cards and yesterday I was thinking that what I really need to start doing is to summarise my lecture notes in my own words so that I have to think about the content and have it in a way that I understand... Admittedly, my next thought after this was "When will I find time for that?!"  In saying that though, I am hoping that the more I do it, the more I can train my brain to be used to it and get better at it.

When I was studying for my exams, I turned the whiteboard in the study into a huge visual aid - note all the colours? Most of the equations are colour coded! haha! Having that there was great to be able to look at, but I find that writing it down helps most. I think that I am going to have to find a way to make this whiteboard work more for me.

I have also got a couple of the Chemistry for Dummies e books which I will be going through, as I really like the examples they use. I really feel that at this point in time, I really need to take everything back to basics and just understand it all in the simplest way possible that works for me... I even came across a Chemistry for Dummies Workbook, which I hope will also help me have a step-by-step process that is easy to understand for my final exam (which I need to get at least 40% in).

I know that given the time, I could figure the question out.  In my chem labs and tutes I am getting 80-90% most of the time, so something must be working, I think it just takes me a bit longer to work through what the question is asking me.

Most of the times, I just want to know what it is and why it does whatever it is doing.  It doesn't need to be explained in 10 pages of textbook text, just a simple similie and explanation usually work for me.

Somehow, I need to find a way to stop overthinking it all and stressing myself out...

(btw - sorry for yet another non-weightloss related post! haha!)

Reevaluating...

Today has been a bit of a kick in the teeth uni wise... and I am feeling so sad and disapointed in myself.

Today I had my chemistry exam and I failed... it might seem like it is too early to call, but I know that I did... I answered maybe 3 questions (of 40!) in total... 22 of them were maybe partly answered but probably getting my equations confused, and the other 5 were unanswered....

I have been trying to get my study in for a subject I barely understand and memorising what the lecturer told us to (which we didn't need!!! WTF!!!) and then when I got in to the theatre, I looked at the questions and hit panic mode... and just didn't perform well. 

If I had a bit more time, I probably would have been able to work them out and get it right in my head, but 40 short answer questions in 50 minutes is just nuts!!

To top it all off, I just found out that I only just passed my biology exam... and this is an exam that I was so confident that I did really well in... It was actually something I thought I was going to be so proud of...

Struggling to study, to understand the work, and trying so hard to do well, I seem to be not getting anywhere, and I am really struggling to understand what I am doing at uni... people say P's get degrees - that may be the case, but that's not my style.  I want to do well.  I want to understand it. And most of all I want to enjoy it.

Am I really doing the right thing... maybe I am just not cut out to be a uni student... maybe I am not meant to be a dietician...

Maybe it's just not for me...

Oh, Easter!! It's A Love/Hate Relationship...

I love chocolate!!

So much so that I can, quite easily, polish off a block of chocolate in one sitting... While B probably thinks I eat a lot of it (he doesn't have a sweet tooth lol), I barely eat it compared to the amount that used to pass my lips... which, looking back, was quite a scary amount!

However, it is Easter - and I love Easter egg chocolate!!! It is by far my favourite kind of chocolate (in particular, Red Tulip Bunnies).  A friend and I, years ago, actually used to go into town on Easter Monday and buy up all of the half priced  eggs! It was heaven!!

Admittedly, now I find that I can't eat as much chocolate as I used to, but I can still consume a fair amount!!  The other issue I have found over the years, is that I seem to need to "detox" from chocolate... after 3 days of not eating chocolate (and craving it something shocking!) I find that I don't really want it.  I can go without! I love it when I am in this frame of mind!

Another observation I have had, is that when I stress, I want comfort food... and uni seems to be a bit of a stress filled experience for me at this stage.  I find that when I am studying, I want to snack on foods... I don't know why, I don't know if this is what I used to do and it's subconcious, but I just want to eat...

So, what does this post have to do with anything?  Well, right now, I can't stop thinking about chocolate... the fact that it's almost Easter, and the stores are filled with Easter eggs... and I want them!!  I have made it though 3 months of having them on the shelves, but now that Easter is around the corner, it's all that I want!!

In fact, I had one the other day, and even while I was eating it, I noticed that it didn't give me the same "happy" feeling I used to get... which is great!!  The only problem is... I still want it!

So, I am glad that Easter will be over in a week... although it won't stop me from eating the eggs in the meantime... at least it won't be as much as what I would have usually have eaten, and I can find some form of self control...

Checking In

Hi All

I am just checking in with my weekly weigh in.  Now, I actually did weigh myself yesterday morning, and I have to say, that I really didn't want to come in here and tell you that I did put on weight.

The truth is though, I am mostly ok with the fact that I put on weight.  We were in Melbourne on the weekend, and I haven't been moving that much because of my knee - plus I know that my eating has been all out of whack. Stress and eating don't go well together for me... I have had an exam and a report due (and done) and another exam on Monday for chemistry which I really don't feel prepared for and I am quicte panicky about it actually...

So, I am owning that, plus I am also trying to accept that this is life, and this time my weightloss isn't all or nothing.  Bumps happen and I am ok with that... mostly! haha!!  I think the hardest part is the little voice in my head telling me what I can't do and that I have failed...

So here is to ignoring the voices in my head! haha!

Anyway, so I only put on a kilo, so that's not too bad.  I think the worst thing is that I have been on my own so often lately, that I have kinda given up on cooking... not good! I am still struggling with breakfast... I think I am going to have to try and find something I am looking forward to eating... I have always loved honey weats... maybe I should give them a go lol My breakfast schedule has gone out the window since I have quit working full time lol

In saying that though, last night I actually made an effort and I made san choy bow... mostly cos I had the stuff sitting there and B doesn't like it lol... perfect reason to make it... all for me!!!  I even used lettuce from my garden! I have to say, you haven't had lettuce until you have grown it yourself!!  I am not a salad fan, but this is tops!

So, at the moment with uni has been crazy... as I mentioned before I have already had an exam and a report due - which are now done and dusted, but I am really struggling to get through Chemistry right now... in fact I have to admit that I am procrastinating about studying because I just feel so overwhelmed - how ridiculous is that?!  I know I just need to get in and get it done, but everytime I try I start freaking out...

On the upside, I have been itching to do some exercise lately - I think that it's mostly because I can't due to my knee.  However, my knee is feeling really great today and I am due at the physio in 15 minutes, so I had better get going!!

Anyway, that's my update!

3 Weeks into Uni... and the TRUTH about where I have been....

WARNING: post contains revelations (and seems to have become a novel!)

3 Weeks into Uni... and already there have been tears (a lot actually!), major melt downs, stress, poor nutrition and lack of exercise...

I have been putting off this post for the last 2 weeks (since the 12WBT started), because, well... I felt like a failure...

I touched on this in my blogger challenge answer I wrote earlier today, however I don't think that post quite told you the whole truth - not that I was lying, but the point of the post was positivity lol, and I just didn't want to bring it down.

So, let's get to the crux of the problem - I wasn't coping with so many life changes going on at the same time, and I was putting far too much pressure on myself, which is not a good combination!! When I am stressed, not happy or just don't know how to handle a situation, I basically "shut down".  I avoid people, I don't ask for help, and I don't want people to see that I am struggling.  I guess, that maybe I don't want to admit to myself either... The problem with this was that I didn't put it out there where it usually helps me, and where I recieve a lot of support - here! On my blog. 

I have negleted my blog over the last couple of weeks, and I am so glad that I had the foresight to have all of the blogger challenge questions ready and scheduled, because otherwise, it just wouldn't have happened.

University isn't like I thought it would be... or to be more accurate, I'm not the uni student I thought I would be.  I have really struggled with my classes!!  I have had a lot of problems trying to comprehend topics (mostly chemistry), and I have spent so much time in my study it's, quite honestly, unbelievable.  I have barely seen my partner, and when I did I was usually in tears of frustration or stress, so the poor bugger hasn't had an easy time of being a boyfriend at the moment. 

I struggled with my subjects so much, that before week 2 was over I could see (thankfully!) that I wasn't doing so well, and recognise that something had to go... and in fact, it was 2 things... the 12WBT (don't panic, I will get to this in a moment!) and my Anatomy subject.  I simply couldn't focus on so much going on, especially with my priority being university at this point in time.  If I have any chance of surviving uni, I need to realise and accept that I am not Wonder Woman.  I am actually human and it is ok to not to try and do everything!

My main confusion (at this point in time!) to do with chemistry has been resolved and for the forst time in 3 weeks I don't feel as though my neck and back are just one giant knot. I feel semi-human again and that I might be able to do this.  Yes, my time is completely taken up by uni, work and studying around all of this (bedtimes are about 10.30pm atm, and that's basically filled with study from as soon as I get home for the day), however, the other day I had a bit of an epiphany... I can still loose weight if I try!!

My thinking on this, is that in all honesty, I don't think I will be following Mish's plan to a T, however I want to concentrate mostly on what I am eating. So, in my case, making sure I eat breakfast, eating a healthier lunch and making sure I am eating a healthy dinner.

I realise this probably sounds really simple, but I am going to make it even easier for myself.  I will be eating some of Mish's meals, however I am going to go back to some old faithful's from when I was losing weight on my own.  I won't be sticking to 1200 calories, but aiming for 1500 calories instead.

I have come to realise that at this point in time, I need to make things really easy on myself...  My partner is in the US for the next week, but I am not going to let this stop me. I am going to sit down with my Meal Planner app on my iPad and put in my meals I want to eat this week, get a shopping list and get all of my ingredients.  I think in a way, I want to use this time on my own to get back to where I was a year ago on my weightloss journey. I think that because I was single, it was actually a little easier for me foodwise.  I in no way blame  how I eat on my life now, it's just that it was a habit I was in a year ago, and so far I don't really have many healthy habits... I need to find that will that I used to have instead of being in a 'comfort place'.

I am lucky enough that B is supportive and is happy to cook meals but I think first off, I need to remember what my favourite healthy meals are...

Right now, it's time for me to get back to basics!!

So, while I still consider myself to be a part of this round, I won't be participating to the full extent. I realise that this isn't the best use of my participation to the program, but right now, I think it is the only way that I can participate.

My weightloss journey will be slow... but I will lose the weight!!

Task 7: Organise & Diarise

Ok... here we are!

This is my favourite part of the pre season tasks - planning!!

Luckily for me, I have had my upcoming schedule booked in for a couple of weeks now as I am now at uni and definitely need to plan my life to avoid catastrophe!

I have created a pic of my schedule (below) - please try not to be scared (as I am!!) at how full it is.  I have had to fit in uni, work and my workouts into my week as well as taking some time out for me (saturday mornings).  It all looks a little chaotic, but I really hope that it's doable.  I have spent every moment of my free time in the last week dedicated to studying and I'm not yet where I would like to be! Hopefully the exercise and healthier foods will help my concentration levels!

To keep it simple, basically all of the purple are my workouts :)

Milestones

So, another part of this task is to come up with a 4, 8 and 12 week milestone.  Luckily for me, there are 3 fun runs in Canberra around those times!!

Week 4 - Sri Chinmoy 4km Fun Run/Walk - 12th March 2012

Week 8 - ActewAGL Women's & Girls 5km Fun Run/Walk - 1st April 2012

Week 12 - Mother's Day Classic 5km Fun Run - 13th May 2012

This one will be the BIG one - I have actually signed up to do the run!!!! (You can sponsor me below by clicking on the picture if you would like to)

I also have no excuses for not doing them, as I have already signed up to the Sri Chinmoy and the MDC.  I would have signed up to the other one as well, but their registrations aren't open yet.

Can't believe I want to be a runner... lol!

Going Back To School

I have been thinking about writing about this topic for months, but I just never actually did it.

Next week I start (another) new phase in my life - university on campus.

A few years ago, I lost quite a bit of weight after finding out from my doctor what I was doing to my body (you can read a little more on my history here).  I found that I loved what I was doing.  I was losing weight, I was taking control of my life!

I had lost over 20kg from eating right and exercising.  Sure it took a while, but I was learning so much!  On more than one occasion I had friends and family tell me to do a shake diet because "you will lose weight faster" - somehow with as little as I knew at the time, I was able to recognise the fact that I wouldn't be able to sustain my weight, let alone learn anything about living a healthy lifestyle.  I had to learn to like fruit and veggies, I needed to learn that not everything out of a packet was good for you and I needed to learn how to read nutritional labels properly.

All of a sudden, friends and family were asking me for advice on how to lose weight (although a few didn't like the "eat healthy and exercise" message! haha!) and I really enjoyed helping people... which lead me to decide to go to university to become a dietician.

Admittedly, it was a hard decision to make... in one sense I felt that I wasn't worthy enough to become a dietician as I didn't feel that my diet was 'perfect' as well as the fact that I hadn't reached goal weight yet.  My friends encouraged me to enrol, as no one's diet will ever be perfect and did it really matter that I wouldn't be the skinniest girl in the class?! Even now, yes, I have put on quite a bit of weight recently, but I need to realise that this does not make me an inferior person and it is ok that I am studying nutrition.

So, I enrolled by distance through Charles Sturt University.  Over the next 18 months I completed a couple of subects, but I found that working full time and studying part time with intensive labs was far too stressful and after talking with B, it was decided that I would switch it around... so as of 2012 I will work part time and study full time at the University of Canberra!

To be honest, I am quite nervous about it all.  I haven't been a full time student for 7 years and it will be interesting to see with how I cope with it all.  I think at the moment my biggest fear is that I will struggle to understand the subject material and that I will be unable to retain that knowlege.  However, I won't know until I try!

Overall I am really looking forward to being able to do this. I miss being a student and I have never been to university, I have only studied at places like TAFE and CIT. I think that this year will be a great adventure!!

So, my subjects for this semester are:

1. Concepts in Biology
2. Chemistry 1A
3. Regional Anatomy & Physiology
4. Psychology 101

One of my biggest challenges during this round of the 12WBT will be managing my time. I hace decided that my workouts will be in the mornings, and I will have uni 2 days a week as well as working 3 days a week. During the other 2 days I will be catching up on lectures and other uni work as well as trying to find some time for myself.  I have spent a couple of hours this morning putting together my calendars to be able to work out my schedule, and so far, it's looking good!