Feeling Overwhelmed - and Weigh In

Starting to stress out a bit.... I just have so much on my plate at the moment.  I feel as though I am just running out of time.  I have so much on my mind with the break in, but also with uni and I also have the excitement of a new baby in the family.

With an exam next week, a rough past couple of weeks and 5 days away in Bendigo, I'm not quite sure where I am... and truth be told... I am struggling with weightloss motivation.

I was on a great roll with my gym workouts, but they seem to have disapeared... I need my mojo back!!

So, I have decided that Monday is the day (working on Friday and Sunday, and Saturday has already been booked out).

But, I did still weigh in this week, and sadly, I have put on weight... I was expecting this however, so it's not a total shock.  I ate far too much crap and, well, just far too much in general when I was away.  There was comfort eating after the break in, I admit it, but that's life, it happens.

I also realised that this is Week 4 since I started, so I need to do my measurements.  I have only just realised this, so I will need to do them tomorrow morning... and I need a photo for the progress page.

But, after 4 weeks, I have put on 100g more than when I started! haha!! Not good... my weight this week is 104.7kg.

What's life without a little drama...

Well, my life has been filled with drama... hence the lack of posts...

My world was turned upside down when someone broke into our house last Sunday night... they went through every room and every cupboard and tipped the house upside down.  They even went through my car looking for valuables!

We had decided to go out to the movies (btw, Ted is hilarious!!) and when we got home we found the back window had been taken off and a house that was complete chaos!

They made off with both of our laptops, both of our tablets (my poor, poor ipad!), both of our credit cards, my debit card, about 53 xbox games, some dvds, my uni bag (including my stats calculator), plus other stuff... all in all, about $8000 worth of our possessions

Needless to say, we are exausted from this as well as the aftermath of cancelling cards, liasing with police, getting fingerprints done, dealing with insurance companies and real estate agents...

My uni work has suffered from all of this and I am supposed to have an exam next week and I just cant seem to focus... 

In all of this though, B, Miss 4 and I were supposed to go away for a few days to Bendigo for the Wool and Sheep Show as well as to see/stay with friends there, in the end, myself and a friend went down as B didn't want me to miss out.

It was really great to be removed from the situation and have a bit of a break.  I got back on Sunday night and I feel like a new person!  (Although, I am pretty tired at the moment lol)

It would seem that I got back to town at just the right time as I got a call at 3.30am yesterday morning with the news that my nephew's girlfriend had just gone into labour... so off I went to my sister's place to look after my youngest nephew, whom I had all day and even had a sleep over last night as the little baby was born very late last night.

I'm looking forward to meeting the little man today, but as my sister had been up for pretty much 24 hours straight, I'm letting her get a sleep in while my nephew and I hang out again today.

I haven't forgotten about my weightloss goals (although they were severely set aside during my time away - road trips just aren't healthy when there are bakeries everywhere.... hmmmmmm.... yummy...), but for the next couple of weeks the exercise will be put on hold during exam time...

I am now entering the serious study zone...

Wednesday Night Workout!

Well, tonight I ignored all of my "I'm tired!" excuses, and I went to the gym after work.  I'm so glad I had the gym bag packed, and I did think about being accountable seeing as I made a couple of posts this morning.

So... I did it!

Usually this would be my 'walking' day, and considering my quads are still so bloody sore I pretty much stuck to just walking.  I did 20 minutes on the treadmill, 5 minutes on the rowing machine (boy oh boy could I feel my quads then!!) and then another 5 minutes on the cross-trainer and then stretching.  I was only about 40 minutes worth of training, but it was more than enough for me!!  I managed to burn 427 calories!

It just feels so great to be getting back on track!! I am loving it!! I feel like I have control again :)

My muscles are still sore, so I think tonight will be my 3rd epsom salts bath in a row... hope it helps!!!  Tomorrow I am going to try and do the circuit the PT gave me... I am so glad I didn't try to do it tonight, there were so many people!!  Aside from having to do it in front of everyone, it was far too packed!!  I really do like to go during the day!!

Weigh In!

Today is weigh in day, and I am here to tell you all that I gained weight!

I have gone up 1.3kg, but I have a few reasons why I think it happened:

• It's TTOM
• I have eaten out a lot this week
• I have eaten a few things which have a lot of salt
• I have gone over my calories a few days

The last few days I have been a bit emotional about everything, and I think that is has impacted on my eating habits... and let's be fair... I think the Costco pastas haven't helped! haha!!

I am not upset by it all, it was expected and I am still going to be trying and "keep on keeping on" as my Nana says. Plus, I did say I was going to take it slow.

I am also wanting to start walking more on the days I am not at the gym, and I have even mapped out a 5km path!  It's all along a main road so fairly safe to do on my own (for the record, I don't live in a ghetto or anything, I'm just always super safe about stuff like this).

Speaking of the gym... I didn't go yesterday.  I was really struggling to get up and walk from my muscles being so sore from the PT session the day before.  So, I had planned on going for the above walk... and then it started raining... so I got ready to go to the gym before everyone got home and ended up helping my sister over the phone for an hour lol... sadly... it just didn't happen!!

But!  I will be packing my gym bag today so that I can go after work.  I will probably just walk, but I plan on doing the circuit the PT gave me tomorrow.

Awesome Video

I came across this video on Tightening the Apron Strings and I just wanted to share it, I love this chick!! hahaha!!

I have never seen any of her videos before, but I just think she rocks!!

I am always uncomfortable in my body when I have a bit of weight on, but I do know that in part it is due to the whole media circus, but in truth it is also because I actually don't feel comfortable.

I don't feel comfortable with how my clothes fit or feel.  I don't feel comfortable when I am sitting or even walking.  I just feel uncomfortable!

BUT!!  Being fat does not define me!  I am still ME no matter what size I am... sure I may get mopey sometimes about my weight, but it doesn't stop me and I don't think it holds me back.  I think that things that do hold me back are mostly money and time... and a fear of heights (which is why I don't really do bridge climbs, bunjy jumping or skydiving).

I love how confident this woman is, I love how happy she is in herself and I just think she rocks!

(PS, sorry for basically copying your post seasidechik, but I just had to share this video too and share my thoughts on it all)

Mini PT Session: Feel the BURN!

Well, I had my PT session today and OMG... I can feel my muscles!!!  I am 99% sure I will have DOMS over the next couple of days!!

I had a about a half hour session with a PT at my gym, I quite like him.  He is probably the first PT I have felt comfortable around and, well I wouldn't say relaxed, but relaxed as much I could be in that kind of situation.

I gotta say... it was pretty hard!!  Some of the exercises I struggled to get through (really struggled!!) but I think the part that I found the hardest was that, well... I was embarrassed!  It was through no fault of my PT, but I was reminded by how much I could do... and what I really struggle with now. I was also a little embarrassed that I was 'performing' in front of a bunch of blokes in the weights area... A year ago it wouldn't have bothered me, and I would have just gone in and done what I needed to do, but I felt insecure because of what I felt I couldn't do.

However, in saying that, I am really trying to focus on the positives, like "Now I can really see how much I will improve!", "How great will it be when you need to up your weights!" and "At least your not sitting on the couch anymore!"

There were a few exercises I didn't think I would be able to do due to my injury that I am really excited that I can do (namely the rowing machine!) and I am excited that I get to use the assisted chin up machine... for some strange, twisted reason, I just love this machine... no idea why... must be because I have to climb to get onto it, or more than likely cos I just feel so damn tough! haha!!  There was one point though where I did tell the PT "I really hate you right now..." so, he must have been pushing me lol

I am thinking that I might put another tab at the top of this page where I can put in my starting exercise regime and use it as a "milestone achiever" so that I can see how much I improve.

The plan he has given me (below) is for 3 days a week, and he has suggested that on the other days that I go for an hours walk... I might be able to do that around here (if I am going to drive anywhere to walk it will probably be the gym after work lol), but I am tempted to drive 10 minutes up the road in the mornings and walk at Googong... maybe once a week or something... will have to think about it... I spose I could go to the town park... but walking circles around that is a bit too boring for me... and I love doing bushwalks...

So, my current gym work out will be like this:

Warm Up

• 5 minutes Cross-Trainer

Strength

• Deadlifts: 3 sets of 8 (bar only)
• Squats (touch chair): 3 sets of 8 (5kg plate)
• Pull ups: 3 sets of 10 (70kg)
• Wide Grip Seated Cable Row: 3 sets of 12 (10kg)

Circuit/Toning

• Push ups: 3 sets of 10 (4 steps under platform) alternate with rower
• Rowing Machine: 3 sets of 200m (level 6)
• Swiss Ball Wall Squat: 3 sets of 10 (as low as possible) alternate with bike
• Bike: 3 sets of 200m
• Push Press: 3 sets of 10 (25 pounds) alternate with cross-trainer
• Cross Trainer: 3 sets of 200m

Core

• Plank: 3 sets of 30 seconds
• Superman: 3 sets of 20

So it's actually a pretty intense session... well, at this point in time I think it is!! I don't know how I am going to get through it all!!! I only did about half an hour today and burned 276 calories! It's gonna be a good challenge though I think!!  I now have another session with him for the same time next Monday.  I was supposed  to stay today and finish off the session (as I pretty much only did 1 rep of everything), but I found out yesterday that they moved my statistics exam 2 days earlier!! GAH! So I came straight home and got stuck into the study again!

A few weeks ago I came across this picture and filed it away for future reference (I think I may have found it on facebook lol), but this was me today...

JDRF Fun Walk: 2nd Year!

I have been meaning to write this post for a while, but kept forgetting until the other day when I received an email that reminded me.

Last year I participated in the JDRF 5.5km Fun Walk with Carrie.  It was my first one I had ever completed, and I was proud of my result, but overall I was so happy to have done it as I felt as though I was walking for my friend who had passed away in 2007.

Anyway, I have signed up to do it again, as it's a lovely walk and a great charity to be involved in.  This year it will be on Sunday 21st October here in Canberra, but there are other ones around the country if you are interested in participating too :)

As it is a charity event, I may as well put up a link in case anyone would like to donate, but please do not feel obligated to.

Click to Donate

I have also been trying to find some other fun runs around Canberra as a goal to be able to run the whole thing, but I was really sad to see that there doesn't seem to be much on for the second half of the year.  The Brooks Spring Into Shape that I participated in last year doesn't seem to be on either, which is really disapointing.

There is the Canberra Times Fun Run, but that's on in just over a month... and I am just not ready for that!!

I'll keep looking, but if anyone finds any, let me know :)

Edited:  I just found this one on the 1st October... I might end up signing up for this... will talk to the PT today and see if it's doable!

First Trip To Costco

Yesterday I had my first ever Costco Experience!

Ours is still less than a year old, but I hadn't had a chance to go out and have a look.  I have to say, it was actually a lot of fun!  It does have some excellent bargains and it's interesting to see everything in bulk.

Most of our purchases yesterday were cleaning related, but there were a few food related ones.  I have to admit I was more than a little excited to find pumpkin filled ravioli, and we found a couple of other things as well (lasagne and english muffins, banana muffins, etc). All I did with these was quickly scan the nutritional info to make sure nothing was completely out of whack or was going to be a big surprise when we go home.  Admittedly, some things were a little higher in salt, but nothing major.

I have to admit, I did feel a little guilty buying some of it, but in truth, I am happy to be going back to the way I used to live my life.  Everything in moderation and nothing is excluded, just worked in... and I am loving it!!

Some of the foods there though were so huge!! What would you do with it all?!  But in the long run, it works out quite cheap, especially if you freeze it - which is what I am planning with the pumpkin ravioli as I think I will be the only one eating it!! hehe!

But my favourite purchase of the day was a $20 throw rug made from microfleece and microsherpa... oooohhhhhh mmmmyyyyyyy goooooooddddd!!! It is heaven in a blanket!! haha!!

A Bit of Fun: POLL!

Hi All!

I was thinking tonight that it might be nice to have a bit of fun in regards to my reward dress that I am planning on wearing to the wedding!

I have had a couple of friends say to wear the blue dress and a couple more to say wear the red, so what one do you think is better?  Or would suit me?  (You can see some more pics of me in the About Me tab at the top).

Online Surveys & Market Research

Also, I have been thinking about knitting myself a little shrug to go over the top of the dress, but I am not sure which one, so I have put together a couple here.  if there is one that jumps out at you, please vote for it.  The other question I have, is what colour?  So, if you could just post a quick comment below telling me which one you voted for and the colour, that would be great!!

Online Surveys & Market Research

Bit of a Crappy Gym Session

This morning I went to the gym for my assessment, and all was going well, I was getting along well with the trainer, had my measurements taken and had started going through the obligatory "how fit are you" bits and pieces - pushups, sit ups and wall sit.

All of that is generally no problem, except just as I started doing a sit up, I managed to get a bloody nose!! WTF!  I never get these!! I have had maybe 5 in my life!! I have to admit, I was more than a little embarrassed... I had blood all over my face a nd a bit on my t-shirt... awkward...

I have been feeling all hot and flustered over the last week and have been 'overheating' when others have been cold, so I think it must all be tied in with that.  The problem is, I wanted to do my gym workout... so I did!

Admittedly I was feeling pretty crappy through the whole thing, and paranoid my nose was going to start bleeding all over the equipment, but I got through it and I didn't do my full workout, I finished with 5 mins on the bike instead of 10. Overall, I burned 253 calories, so that's good enough for me.

Overall my assessment was as I expected (results wise at least!) in that I still can't do sit ups, and it turns out I have lost a lot of upper strength, so I can't do push ups anymore.  My wall sit only lasted for a few seconds, but that was mostly due to my knee I think.

I am going back on Monday to have a bit of a PT and to put a program together.  The trainer has suggested that I do mostly weights there and finish witha  bit of cardio and then walk on the other days that I am not there... While I see the benefit of the walks, I am concerned that this is going to ramp it up a bit too much for me time/stress wise and I am unsure... I want to do it, I just don't want to burn myself out.

On the upside, I am looking forward to doing weights again... I love doing weights!!  I'm not a fan of cardio, but do it because I should! lol

First Week: Off with a BANG!

Well, I had my first weigh in this morning since getting back on the wagon.  I have to admit that I have really been looking forward to weighing in this week - which is a good sign I think!!

My eating hasn't been all that great, but I haven't gone overboard like I had in the past few months, and I have been trying to cook more.  So, this morning I jumped on the scales and I was down 2kg!!! Can't believe it!!

I know that a first week is usually a bit more than what you can expect on other weeks, but 2kg is a lot!!  I'm feeling a bit less bloated, so I think that it's mostly fluid.

Also, yesterday I went and did my workout as promised, I even did it before I drove out to uni.  I think that this is the best time for me to do it, I really like working out in the mornings, because then it is done and dusted and out of the way.  I forgot to turn my HRM on for the first 5 minutes *face palm* so my results aren't completely accurate, but I still burned 326 calories.  Also, I realised the other day that I had actually not updated my stats in my HRM, so my previous results were probably a little out of whack as well.

Tomorrow I have my assessment at the gym. From memory they weigh and measure me and talk to me about what I want to achieve.  I have been thinking about this and I think this is what I am going to tell him:

• I want to build up the strength in my knee again
• I want to complete the C25K
• As much as I love doing weights, I know that I need to do cardio to burn more fat
• I still want to be able to do a sit up!!!

That's all I have so far.  I do have a feeling I will have a bit of a selling spiel on getting PT sessions... I know I have always avoided them in the past... mostly cos I hate exercising! But I have also found that of the ones that I have had, I have never really clicked with the person.... and I think that I need that... Anyone out there swear by PT sessions??

Getting it Done

So... this morning I still had issues with wanting to go to the gym, but I did make the commitment to go on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays... so I dropped Miss 4 to daycare and headed straight to the gym to just get it done.

Today I managed to hit my original target of 10 minutes on each of the treadmill, crosstrainer and bike!  So happy with that!!!  I was able to get into a good rhythm on the cross trainer - which is the one that I find the most difficult.  I had initially told myself that my goal would be to get to 6 minutes so that I would have improved on the last attempt, but I wasn't in pain and couldn't feel a lot of pressure so I kept going.  In truth, I probably could have done more than 10 minutes, but I got a little bored and I just didn't want to push it. I burned 365 calories, which I am also really happy with considering I wasn't pushing myself, just concentrating on having my knee over my toe and just getting it done. 

While I was on the bike one of the trainers came over to speak to me, and embarrassingly he asked me if I had just become a member.... I explained that I joined in July last year, but life had gotten in the way, and then the knee injury, so I hadn't really been in 6 months lol!  We also got talking about the knee injury and he asked me about the physio exercises and then we lined up an assessment for 8.30am on Thursday morning... so it looks like I am officially all in! lol  While I realise that in part he is probably looking for another person to sign up for PTs, I really appreciate that he came over to have a chat with me about my workout and seemed interested in my progress.

Now, I have also spoken to B about me taking Miss 4 to daycare on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays so that I will go to the gym straight after as I accept that one of my biggest challenges is just getting out of the house on days that I don't have to.  Which is a big tick for me as I recognised and found a solution to an excuse :)

PCOS: An Even Bigger Reason To Lose Weight

Over the last few days I have had all kinds of strange things going on with my body... and I have to admit, the first thing that popped into my head was "Am I pregnant?!". While I love babies and kids, I am not ready for them at this point in time, I have a few goals that I would like to achieve before I even consider trying to expand our family.

Cue freakout!

It just didn't seem to add up, I just don't think that I could be... so I started doing a bit of research as to what was going on with my body. Then, all of a sudden it hit me...

"OMG! What if my PCOS has come back because of how much weight I have put back on?!"

Turns out that the symptoms you get from rising hormone levels when you are pregnant are also similar symptoms you get when the hormone levels are fluctuating due to PCOS.

Now at this stage I admit that it is a bit of a self diagnosis, but as a former PCOS sufferer (when I lost all that weight my hormone levels went back to normal as did everything else), I already know what I am in for...

And I am scared!

I don't want to be in the same kind of agony where I can't stand up straight, or I don't get my period for months (if ever).  I don't want to have to rely on the pill to regulate my hormone levels - I wan't my body to be able to do what it is meant to do, and do it all on it's own.

What have I done to my body?!

Last night, I was scared, upset and felt so guilty... I knew that this could happen... why did I allow it?!

So, I am glad that I decided to take action last week.  This is now a really big motivator!  This is now a serious health issue for me and it is definitely something I don't want to relive! 

I have made the decision that if I am still having similar issues in a couple of weeks, I am going to the doctor to request a blood test to check my hormone levels and get it all sorted.  For now, I will be taking control of the situation as best as I can.