First Week: Off with a BANG!

Well, I had my first weigh in this morning since getting back on the wagon.  I have to admit that I have really been looking forward to weighing in this week - which is a good sign I think!!

My eating hasn't been all that great, but I haven't gone overboard like I had in the past few months, and I have been trying to cook more.  So, this morning I jumped on the scales and I was down 2kg!!! Can't believe it!!

I know that a first week is usually a bit more than what you can expect on other weeks, but 2kg is a lot!!  I'm feeling a bit less bloated, so I think that it's mostly fluid.

Also, yesterday I went and did my workout as promised, I even did it before I drove out to uni.  I think that this is the best time for me to do it, I really like working out in the mornings, because then it is done and dusted and out of the way.  I forgot to turn my HRM on for the first 5 minutes *face palm* so my results aren't completely accurate, but I still burned 326 calories.  Also, I realised the other day that I had actually not updated my stats in my HRM, so my previous results were probably a little out of whack as well.

Tomorrow I have my assessment at the gym. From memory they weigh and measure me and talk to me about what I want to achieve.  I have been thinking about this and I think this is what I am going to tell him:

• I want to build up the strength in my knee again
• I want to complete the C25K
• As much as I love doing weights, I know that I need to do cardio to burn more fat
• I still want to be able to do a sit up!!!

That's all I have so far.  I do have a feeling I will have a bit of a selling spiel on getting PT sessions... I know I have always avoided them in the past... mostly cos I hate exercising! But I have also found that of the ones that I have had, I have never really clicked with the person.... and I think that I need that... Anyone out there swear by PT sessions??

Getting it Done

So... this morning I still had issues with wanting to go to the gym, but I did make the commitment to go on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays... so I dropped Miss 4 to daycare and headed straight to the gym to just get it done.

Today I managed to hit my original target of 10 minutes on each of the treadmill, crosstrainer and bike!  So happy with that!!!  I was able to get into a good rhythm on the cross trainer - which is the one that I find the most difficult.  I had initially told myself that my goal would be to get to 6 minutes so that I would have improved on the last attempt, but I wasn't in pain and couldn't feel a lot of pressure so I kept going.  In truth, I probably could have done more than 10 minutes, but I got a little bored and I just didn't want to push it. I burned 365 calories, which I am also really happy with considering I wasn't pushing myself, just concentrating on having my knee over my toe and just getting it done. 

While I was on the bike one of the trainers came over to speak to me, and embarrassingly he asked me if I had just become a member.... I explained that I joined in July last year, but life had gotten in the way, and then the knee injury, so I hadn't really been in 6 months lol!  We also got talking about the knee injury and he asked me about the physio exercises and then we lined up an assessment for 8.30am on Thursday morning... so it looks like I am officially all in! lol  While I realise that in part he is probably looking for another person to sign up for PTs, I really appreciate that he came over to have a chat with me about my workout and seemed interested in my progress.

Now, I have also spoken to B about me taking Miss 4 to daycare on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays so that I will go to the gym straight after as I accept that one of my biggest challenges is just getting out of the house on days that I don't have to.  Which is a big tick for me as I recognised and found a solution to an excuse :)

PCOS: An Even Bigger Reason To Lose Weight

Over the last few days I have had all kinds of strange things going on with my body... and I have to admit, the first thing that popped into my head was "Am I pregnant?!". While I love babies and kids, I am not ready for them at this point in time, I have a few goals that I would like to achieve before I even consider trying to expand our family.

Cue freakout!

It just didn't seem to add up, I just don't think that I could be... so I started doing a bit of research as to what was going on with my body. Then, all of a sudden it hit me...

"OMG! What if my PCOS has come back because of how much weight I have put back on?!"

Turns out that the symptoms you get from rising hormone levels when you are pregnant are also similar symptoms you get when the hormone levels are fluctuating due to PCOS.

Now at this stage I admit that it is a bit of a self diagnosis, but as a former PCOS sufferer (when I lost all that weight my hormone levels went back to normal as did everything else), I already know what I am in for...

And I am scared!

I don't want to be in the same kind of agony where I can't stand up straight, or I don't get my period for months (if ever).  I don't want to have to rely on the pill to regulate my hormone levels - I wan't my body to be able to do what it is meant to do, and do it all on it's own.

What have I done to my body?!

Last night, I was scared, upset and felt so guilty... I knew that this could happen... why did I allow it?!

So, I am glad that I decided to take action last week.  This is now a really big motivator!  This is now a serious health issue for me and it is definitely something I don't want to relive! 

I have made the decision that if I am still having similar issues in a couple of weeks, I am going to the doctor to request a blood test to check my hormone levels and get it all sorted.  For now, I will be taking control of the situation as best as I can.

Soul Searching

Well, over the last 24 hours I have done a bit of soul searching and poured it all into this blog!  I have added a few tabs to the top of my blog with some new sections! There is now an About Me page, a Goals page and a Progress page.

It all started yesterday morning with a weigh in.  You see, the gym session the other day really gave me a kick up the butt, and I thought about where I was heading and what I want, so, I thought I would get it all out there and write it all down.  I think I have been a little braver than I have in the past... there are a lot more photos involved!!  I have decided that on the Progress page, that ever 4 weeks I will not only update the stats, but I will also add a photo of me... and hopefully there will be changes!

So, I have set myself a goal of losing 8kg by 29 September 2012.  This works out to be 0.62kg per week (it's 13 weeks away).  There is a wedding on that we will be going to, and I would really like to be able to wear the dress I mentioned in this post. There is no particular reason for losing 8kg, I just wanted a goal that is achieveable and something that I can work towards. 

So, here are my stats.  This is my starting point!

Week 1

Wednesday 27 June 2012

		Change	Total Loss
Weight:	104.6kg	-	-
Arm:	32cm	-	-
Bust:	117.5cm	-	-
Waist:	127.5cm	-	-
Hips:	129cm	-	-
Thigh:	74cm	-	-

I also want to go to the gym 3 times a week, on a Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.  These are my days off from uni, and it means that I won't be straining my knee too much.

I also need to start calorie counting again, so I will be using Calorie King.  I am so out of practice for doing this, it seems to be taking a while to get back into that routine again.

One thing I do need to remember is that I don't have the same routines and lifestyle as before, so I will be making mistakes and probably eating things I shouldn't without thinking (comes down to practice again lol) - this is ok!!  Just keep going and keep trying!!

Promise Kept!

I finished uni today, got in the car and had an "oh crap!" moment when I realised that I had promised everyone that I was gonna go to the gym today...

Well, I went!

As I said, I was only gonna take it easy, which I did, but I am so glad that I kept to that as while I was fine in the beginning, by the time I got to the last 10 minutes or so I could feel the strain in my knee.

What I was hoping to do was:

• 10 minutes on the treadmill (walking)
• 10 minutes on the cross trainer (walking)
• 10 minutes on the bike (low-medium speed)

What I actually did was:

• 10 minutes on the treadmill (walking)
• 5 minutes on the cross trainer (walking)
• 5 minutes on the bike (low-medium speed)

I know it seems quite small, but I think it was a good start and it gives me something to improve on.

As proof, here is my calorie burn from my HRM

Struggling to get out of the door

I started to write this post last night, but stopped... seems kind of fitting considering the topic! lol

My mindset is so much better than it has been in the recent past, I am feeling a lot happier with myself and I feel more in control and that I can get back onto the weightloss wagon again.  In fact, in a way I have been looking forward to it!

So, what's happened... nothing... It's as though something is still holding me back, I am not sure what it is, but it's like I just can't get started.

I originially named this post to talk about my gym efforts.  I have been going to go to the gym so many times in recent weeks, and have even gotten dressed to go... but just haven't been able to push myself out of the door.

I think I might be scared...

I think I am scared of failing... of not making it, of losing all of the weight again and being back at this point again.

I know what lies ahead, I know all of the hard work that I will need to put in... and in truth, I don't know if I can do it...  But, I also know that without all of that hard work, I won't get what I want.

So, rather than fighting myself on this one, I am going to just get my butt to the gym.  Today!  I have uni classes on today, but I can drive to the gym when they are done and jump on the treadmill or cross trainer. I won't be pushing myself hard for a few reasons; I don't think my body will be used to it, I need to start back at the beginning and build my fitness up, and I need to build up the strength in my knee gradually.

So, my promise to you all is that tonight I will be back with an update on my first trip back to the gym!

I'm a Spoon!

The other night I was thinking about what clothes should I be wearing, in a "Trinny & Susannah should come and save me" fashion sense, and I decided to do a bit of googling.

I managed to find a calculator at Shop Your Shape as my judgement cannot be trusted when it comes to my perception of my body.  The result it brought back was that I am a spoon.

As a Spoon Body type (sometimes called figure 8), your hips are larger than your bust and you have a defined waist. Your hips have a “shelf” appearance, you are prone to gaining weight in your tummy and have a tendency towards love-handles. While you may gain weight in your upper thighs and upper arms, your lower legs and arms are shapely and your best assets.

This is pretty spot on for me... My hips are like a shelf - and while it probably seems a little strange, it's just nice to know that this is normal... My hips are a PITA, it's hard to find something that flatters, but also makes them a little slimmer, and I don't even want to talk about trying to find something to fit!

Luckily for me there are a few sites out there that can help me work it out!  While I am in no way shape or form a fashionista, I am hoping that I can pull some tips in what to look for in clothes. Apparently, this is what I need to look for:

The key to dressing a Spoon body type is to draw attention to your upper body while deemphasizing your tummy and hips to create a more balanced appearance and create the illusion of an hourglass figure. Your legs are one of your best asset, so feel free to play with skirt lengths and show them off! To create the most curvaceous effect mix and match our suggested separates.

 The only downside I can find to the Shop Your Shape size is that they don't have more examples, the reason for this is that they pointed out the most gorgeous dress, that simply put I WANT! It's from ModCloth, which I had heard of before, but now I think I may become a customer as they have some amazing stuff! The picture on the right is the dress suggested and I am just so in love!!  Admittedly, Shop Your Shape does have a "virtual shopper", so I have signed up for that and I will be interested in seeing what it sends back to me.

I mentioned before that I am not usually into fashion, the reason I have been looking into all of this is mostly because as I have put on weight recently, there is now a lack of clothes that fit me in my wardrobe, so I thought I would make some!  Basically, what I have done is made myself a couple of A+ Skirts by Make It Perfect in a cord fabric (pinwale) so that I could have something comfy and cute in the Canberra winter.  Initially I made one in black and one in green, but I love them so much that I yesterday I bought some red and blue fabric.  I am not usually so bright in my clothing choices, but they actually make me feel quite fun and confident in them... especially with tights and boots!  I might actually post up some pictures of me wearing them (if anyone is interested! lol).  I had made a few of these skirts for summer, but I was curious how they would go in a heavier fabric - and I think they are awesome!!

Back to the Brace

A few nights ago I managed to crash into the bedside table... and hurt my injured knee (btw - what's with that?!  Can I not have banged the other knee, you know, evened things up a bit?!). I thought, oh it's ok, I'll just rest it, ice and heat it and go from there...

However, while it has been getting better again, is has been a huge step backwards and yesterday I even had to wear my knee brace to work again for extra support as I could feel a bit of pulling along the back of the knee and it just felt a little weak.

I currently have a big purple bruise across my knee cap, so it's a little tender.

A little more rest I think and then I might pop back to the gym and do some walking on the cross trainer (as recommended by the physio).

Perception

You know, perception is a funny thing...

When the picture (right) was taken, I was so convinced this was a horrible photo, that I looked awful! I thought I was so fat and how much I hated my hips.  That I had lost so much weight, but you really couldn't even tell.

When I came across this photo tonight, I just thought "OMG!  How thin do I look!!" My face looks so thin and so do my arms... yes, I have big hips, but WOW! Look at my waist! There is definition!!  Even my nect looks thin as does my chest! (not small boobs (although, yes, they are smaller lol) but the part under my neck looks thinner).  And then I remembered how I felt when the photo was taken.

It struck me how weird perception is... I guess it brings back that old saying "you don't know what you've got until it's gone", you just don't seem to appreciate stuff until it's not there anymore... hindsight is a beautiful thing!

At the time this picture was taken, I was probably about the 80kg mark... a good 20kg less than I am now... crazy!!  I was at the gym regularly and my eating was pretty awesome.  MB had come to my gym for the 1st birthday (I think it was) and also did a book signing.  She was pretty inspriring to meet in person! In truth, I didn't really like her before I actually met her! lol

Do you have anything like this? Where your perception has changed completely?

Uni Results

Hi All

I was just having a little 'chat' with Debby on her blog (The Tardis) where she mentioned my uni work, and I realised that after all of my previous posts on my uni work, I should probably let you know about my actual results!!

My first semseter of uni was quite stressful (as you probably read from my frantic posts), but honestly, it was quite enjoyable!!  I am so appreciative that I have been able to go to full time study, and I love to learn, so it's a great combination!

So, anyway, I have just completed Chemistry 1A, Concepts in Biology and Psychology 101.  The only subject that I was really worried about was Chemistry, as it has a high fail rate and it's not exactly the easiest subject!! All I wanted to do was pass Chemistry 1A as I couldn't go ahead and do Chemistry 1B until I had passed.... and I did struggle with chemistry a bit!

Anyway, my results were:

• Chemistry 1A: Credit (even better than a pass, but I can tell you now... I studied my arse off for that credit!!!)
• Concepts in Biology: Credit
• Psychology 101: Distinction

So, I have to say I am really proud of what I achieved!!!

At the moment, I am back at uni again, as I have decided to do subjects in the Winter Term.  This term is half the time of a full semester, so the units are condensed.  I am doing Introduction to Statistics and Indigenous History and Self Expression.

I have decided that for my electives, I want to do Indigenous subjects as I have always had an interest and I would like to have a better understanding, especially in Indigenous Health (a subject that I will be doing in Semester 2 - along with Chemistry 1B and Systemic Anatomy &  Physiology.)