Up until this point in time I wouldn't have ever thought that I would have an issue with making a commitment to anything. I think that I love freely and am a fairly open person. however, making a promise to myself it believe it or not, one of the hardest things I think I have had to do. Believe it or not, the thoughts I have had over the last few days have actually left me feeling panicky and a little tight in the chest.
I realised tonight that I think this is because there are a couple of things that i really hate. One is lying, and the other is breaking a promise. How do I ensure that the commitment I make to myself is honest, and a promise that I can keep?
I know that my partner supports me in anything that I do, however, this has nothing to do with other people supporting me. I am quite independent and I know that if I want something bad enough, I will just get it done. This program is all about me. It's all about making sure that I hold myself to my promises and I am honest with myself when I make them.
The only problem is, I'm not entirely sure that I can do this... I know that I can do it, but will I?? Will I stick it out? Will I make the changes? What if I fall off the wagon? What if I screw up? What if I just turn into a lazy sack of crap and come up with excuses not to exercise? What if I don't cook the foods I should? What if I continue to eat crap because I am too lazy to cook?
I know that this is all down to me, and I am scared that maybe I will fail myself... and I don't like failing...
Why is it so hard to do this for me and to believe in myself enough to know that I can?
So, after much thought, this is what I commit to myself and to Michelle:
- I will exercise 6 times a week - if I don't get to the gym, then I will exercise at home using the resources I have here
- I will eat the diet that Michelle sets out - I know that I will be healthier and have more energy because of it and it will also bring a much healthier lifestyle to the household
- I will lose 15 kilos in the 12 weeks of the challenge because I will stick to the first 2 points.
- If I stuff up, I commit that I will just keep going and keep trying my best