As requested (by Janie D :D lol) I thought I would pop up and write a bit of an update. I had considered doing one both yesterday and today, but Janie's comment has spurred me on :)
I didn't realise it was going to be so long, sorry guys! I think I just need to get all of these thoughts out of my head!! haha!
I am doing much better of the last couple of days. I think that getting it all out there on Friday has really helped me - as well as seeing the number on the scales.
Since Friday I have been tracking my calorie intake on Calorie King and I have been making much better food choices. Now that my will power has made an appearance, I have noticed less chocolate/sweet cravings, although they are still there. I was thinking about this today when I really wanted a snack, but other than trying to follow the 12WBT for Round 3, I honestly don't think that I have been even thinking about eating healthily for over a year now, at least not seriously. I came to this conclusion, as I couldn't remember what I used to eat as a snack.
As much I don't want to write this (because I know that B is reading :P lol), the truth is, I find it so much harder to lose weight when I am part of a couple... When I lost weight before I was single, so I only had to think about myself, and now it's not really that different, I can still eat how I choose, but it does seem to be s different mindset. There is no way I blame B, because it's not his fault in any way, it's more that I don't think I expected my mindset to change so much.
Other than a change in relationship status, the other really big change for me was my routine. When I first started to lose weight I was in a different job. I had actually not long started it, but for the 4 years that I was there, I got into a routine with my eating/exercise habits that are now so completely different. As an example, I used to get up, have a coffee, get ready and head to work. Once I was there, I used to get my breakfast (I basically took over the cupboards in the kitchen!) which usually involved cooking it, made myself another coffee and sat down at my desk to start my day. From there, my snacks and lunch were basically on a schedule as I knew when I was hungry and I had a set lunch break. After work, my gym bag was all packed and I headed straight to the gym. At this point in time, it was just me, 2 cats and no other committments - I didn't even have a social life!! (seriously! My friends were all busy with their own lives!) Looking back, the only stressful component back then was how crappy work was.
B and I have been talking a lot lately about how I struggle to accept my limitations. I think that I have always pushed myself to 'be the best' or at least be able to identify myself as someone who can do well at everything that I try. I really struggle with not being good at something (even though it is something new!!) and will either push on with it or drop it completely. I think that is is probably why I tend to disapear or withdraw when I am not coping, as I don't want others to think that I am weak... and the honest truth is - I think I am weak for not being able to do everything I want to do.
I am very much a perfectionist (as Janie asked in another comment), and this is such an annoying trait to have! I don't know how to not be one! I don't know how to be able to cope with more than one thing at a time (uni, eating right, exercising, life, etc) and trying to stresses me out so much more. I have to admit that even with uni I am struggling to do more than one subject at a time (I am currently doing 3) because I feel like I can't give the subject the attention it deserves and I really don't want to fail because I can't remember what I am supposed to lol.
So, I also have a HUGE confession to make. It is currently the start of Week 6 of the 12WBT and I haven't followed any of it... and I don't think I will... Don't get me wrong, I think that the program is great, I love what Mish has done and I love seeing people's results, but I find that for myself, I put too much pressure on myself with the program. There is also the fact that there is a lot of the food that B and I aren't fans of. I think that if it was just myself in my old lifestyle, I could handle it, but with so much of my life in chaos at the moment (at least it feels that way) I honestly don't believe that I could cope with it.
Following on from this, I have a new plan, which continues on from my basic plan from Friday's post, and that is that I just want to get myself back to basics and back onto my own program. I basically want to take myself back to basics so that I can find some new kind of routine (I really struggle to eat properly when I am at home) and find a way that B and I can make this work together. As I have said before, I am lucky that B is so supportive, and will help me as much as he can. So, my plan of action at this stage is as follows:
- Find all of my ol' trusty healthy recipes and add them to my iPad app (so awesome!! It puts together a shopping list for my meal plan for the week)
- Start putting together a meal plan... and try to stick to it!! I am lucky in that if I plan it, B will cook it lol!
- Start eating breakfast again... this is something I am surprised that I have stopped doing... in truth I think that I really miss having my scrambled eggs on an english muffin! I tend to run late in the mornings and now that I don't cook at work, it was pretty much the first thing to go.
- Start drinking more water. I don't drink anywhere near as much as I should or what I used to. My drink bottle used to sit on my desk at work... now I don't even really have a drink bottle... and I drink more coffee lol
- Keep tracking my calories on Calorie King - I tend to slack off on this if I can't put the calories in correctly (such as eating out) because it won't be 'right' (there is that perfectionism again...)
- At this point in time, exercise is not a priority, but I am hoping to find a way to build it back in... even if I only exercise a couple of times a week. This might be at home or at the gym before work or uni when I start late.
- Accept that I need to have time for myself. Basically, this is giving me permission to knit. It sounds strange, but I really need to knit as I find that without it I tend to get depressed and even more stressed out - seriously, just ask B - he has seen it first hand! haha!
- Keep it simple. Don't try to do more than I actually can, don't worry about what I 'should' be doing, and just eat right and the rest will come when it can... this sounds so simple, yet it's the hardest thing for me to follow...
- When exercising, aim towards completing the C25K program. I have actually registered to do the Mothers Day Classic Fun Run in April, so it would be nice to be able to honor this committment.
- Find ways to de-stress, remember to ask for help and keep putting myself out there on this blog! I keep forgetting how much writing it all down really helps!!
While I guess I don't really consider myself to be technically part of the 12WBT this round, I do hope that people do stick around and read my blog. I just really need to do things my way for now and then when I am ready, I am hoping to use Mish's exercise plans to help me along.
So, from now on, I guess my blog will be reflecting this. As I said, I really hope you guys stick around, as the support that you have given me over the last few months has been amazing!! I am sure that I wouldn't have been able to get my headspace to where it is now without you all checking in and reading.
The Blogger Challenge will, of course, continue. The posts are all sitting there, ready to go and I will still be participating in it too as well as reading the 12WBT blogs and forum posts!! I just love reading about how everyone is going and I love reading about all of the highs that come with it, and I hope that I can help you guys as much as you have all helped me!
So, I think that is my update on what I have been thinking about over the last couple of days. And I will try to update more regularly, including weigh in posts, which I know that I have completely avoided this round!!
Oh and and how is this for a REWARD?? B and I were talking the other day about setting a reward, when I reach goal weight, we are going to go travelling - or at least start planning it a little more. I think at this point in time it will be a cruise... so, I really need to get stuck into my action plan and get this happening!! lol!
MWAH! Love to you all! :D
6 weeks in and haven't followed the plan at all... sounds familiar! You are not alone. While I am incorporating some of it back in today, I too am a perfectionist, and realistically, exercising for an hour 6/7 days does not work for me! If it's only 45 min one day (which is awesome!) I feel like a failure! That's not cool! I'm going back to walking each morning and a few dvd's if I can, and one day a week hardcore session at the Kangaroo Point Cliffs. As for food - I'm going for 1300 calories, and I think skipping breakfast is a good thing! When I eat in the morning, I am hungry (and therefore eat) all day long! When I have breakfast at about 10-11am, I eat so much less, and I'm not as hungry! Stick with what works I say.
ReplyDeleteI'll definitely be checking in on your blog - please do the same. I've also decided to publicly log everything I eat, a first for me, so that I won't eat crap, hoping :) Embarrassed if I do :) clear motivation to do well. Good luck to us!
I don't think I fully realised before now how much of a perfectionist I am (B or my brother reckon they have known for years lol) and how hard it is to try and succeed at something when you are always looking at what you "haven't" done!
DeleteGood on you for publically logging your food intake!! It's a big step!
You are not alone! I think I lasted the first week (if that!)I avoided my blog for two weeks, maybe more. I still haven't had the courage to go to the 12wbt site for at least three weeks. Today was my first good day since the first week! Great post, I can relate to much of it.
ReplyDeleteYour plan of action is great. I may steal that idea (another night I am feeling faint from the lack of food LOL)Great reward too!
Good luck, I look forward to following your blog!
Monza
Good on you for getting back into it. I used to chant to myself "one day at a time". So I didn't look at the big picture and get so overwhelmed. Now you only need to think about tomorrow :)
DeleteHi Whirlsie!
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear from you. I've tried to post a couple of replies on your blog but each time I try to sign in with my Wordpress account, it all vanishes. Will try my Google account now, so hope this works. I may appear as Librarian to the Stars from an earlier blog, but it's still me, tbd55!!
Just testing on this one.
Cheers Debby
Dear Whirlsie!
ReplyDeleteIt worked!! So here goes again! Thanks for keeping us posted, and I can understand perfectly, and think you've made the right choice for the moment. Your study is the main priority for you at present, and it sure can take up all your life, without having to worry about exercising 6 days a week, and following the nutrition plans!
Your 10 point plan sounds great, and good luck with it. I think you should patent it, and I'm going to file it away for future reference!! I originally said (before Blogger ate my comments!) not to beat yourself up too much about not sticking with the program, and put yourself first, and don't worry about letting people down etc. Your main priority is you, and making time for yourself - everyone else will survive just fine!
Your comments about finding it much harder to lose weight as a couple, are so true! At present, I've just got myself (and only 1 cat) to worry about, and don't think I could cope with the 12WBT if I had others to worry about and cook for!!
I also don't stick to the program 100%, and if I don't feel like exercising or going to the gym (like tonight!) I don't worry, or else have a big session the next day to make up. I swap and change the recipes like billy-0, but generally don't eat too much rubbish, beyond the odd glass of wine. I've also given up trying to record my calories in & out each day, unless I'm feeling in the mood. I'm moving more than I have for years, and eating much better, so the weight is dropping off anyway!!
Good luck with the study and everything else! And that cruise sounds a great reward! Very pleased you're keeping the Blogging Challenge going, don't worry we'll all stick around, and look forward to more adventures!!
I'm sure you'll get there - as you mentioned you have to be in the right head-space, which is so true, and your wonderful "Whirlsie's Patent 10 Point Plan" is a great starting point!
Keep us posted, and all the best.
Cheers
Debby alias tbd55 and ("Librarian to the Stars" in Blogger Land!)
Glad you got the posts working!!
DeleteI had a bit of a giggle at "Whirlsie's Patent 10 Point Plan" lol! Ihave to say that I am surprised that others are finding it useful... I was only thinking of myself when I put it up (how selfish am I?? haha!!)
I can't believe how good I am feeling about it all. I have been within my calorie intake the last 3 days (I am actually aiming for 1600 calories as outlined by Calorie King - it worked for me before :)) and I am finding that I am not needing to worry about food so much which is great and I am still able to focus a lot on my study.
It just feels so great to be in a better frame of mind :)
Just reminding you that your are awesome and btw you need to move number 7 to number 1 xx(P.s. I am so excited I have a blog right now =D)
ReplyDeleteLoving ur blog Casey! Can't wait to see what else u put up :)
DeleteThanks Whirlsie - you have always been so honest on your blog... just wanted to see how you were. I think what you've planned is fantastic - afterall, whatever any of us are doing has to suit our circumstances and be sustainable and more power to you for planning a new approach. SO glad you're going to stay on the forums and on this blog because for me the best part of the 12wbt has been threading the experiences and support and encouragement of all the others out there trying to get fit and/or lose weight. There is more than one way to skin a cat - if you'll excuse the expression lol - so good luck with your ten point plan. looking forward to hearing more from you on your blog.
ReplyDeleteI can't begin to tell you how much it has helped, I'm actually looking forward to weighing in tomorrow morning! It's been a while since I have felt that way!
DeleteWill post another update tomorrow morning :)