I have come to realise, that for some reason, I really want to hide the fact that I am trying to lose weight. Over the last few years I have been so completely open to everyone that I was trying, but I have found that I just don't want to talk about it at all...
I have been avoiding friends because I don't want to tell them how I am going, and I don't want to feel inadequate. I feel like I have hidden myself from the world and even though I don't want to talk about how much weight I have put on, I also don't want to talk about any successes...
I find this so strange, and the only thing I can think of is that maybe I dont want tohave people see me fail... or show people that I was wrong... or feel like I am wrong... lol!! I am not good with criticism - even from myself... It's kind of hard to explain what I mean... it's not that I think people will actually tell me I am wrong, but I think it is more what I think people will think about me... which is silly, I know...
I'm hiding too. Have told significant people in my life what I'm doing. But that's it. I've taken down profile pics on FB and am only writing on my blog about my achievements. While this is public, so few of my FB friends are aware of my blog.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a purely defensive mechanism.
I think it's a definsive mechanism too.
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