Yesterday I posted that I would be happy for a loss... any loss, I just didn't want to gain. Well, this morning I weighed in at 91.7kg!! That means I lost 800g!!
I can't believe it!!!
I have been thinking a lot lately about how I have been going with the whole program. Yes, I know that I haven't been able to exercise as much as I should have or would have liked. Yes, I know that my eating hasn't been 100% spot on. But you know what? I haven't binged... at all!! I haven't gone out of my way to eat foods I shouldn't have. I haven't caved in when I really wanted chocolate *cough* last night *cough*. And I have just plodded along, just getting on with it all and trying as best as I am able on that particular day. I think overall, my mindset has actually been a lot stronger than I have given it credit for, especially when it has come to food.
I think that counts as a WIN!!
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
It's been over a week since my last post...
Yep... I have been a bit slack haven't I?!
Well, I have had a bit of a rough week overall. I have been sick (again!!) and I tried going to the gym last week and almost passed out. So, I took that as a very loud and clear sign from my body that it needed rest. So, this last week I haven't done any exercise other than incidental stuff.
I have been trying not to feel too guilty about it. In fact, I think I have been trying not to feel too guilty about the fact that I am loving not doing exercise. I am one of those people who does exercise because I have to, not because I enjoy it. I have taken a few extra days off from exercising as I am still sick, and I have been wondering if I have been pushing it all a bit too much and going back to the gym earlier than I should be. However, I am now taking a multi-vitamin so I hope that will help, because I don't think I can take being sick again!!
Now, as I have been sick, I still haven't done my bush walk. I can't believe it!! Something I was so excited about and I haven't been able to do it!! On the weekend, I struggled to move, so I know that I wasn't being lazy about it all. I am the kind of person who likes to do things when and how they are supposed to be done. So, with it now being week 6 and I still haven't done something from week 4, it is really getting to me. This is one of those things that makes me feel like I am failing as I am falling behind and I can't seem to 'keep up'.
In saying that, I have done something which is definitely pushing my comfort zone. I have signed up to Walk for a Cure for Diabetes this weekend! It is a 5.5km walk which I will be doing with some friends. This is a free walk (for anyone who is interested in doing it near where you live), however they do ask for you to help with donations. So, in honour of this, if you are able to spare a couple of dollars, I would appreciate your sponsorship. In saying this, I have no intention of hounding people, I just thought I would do my bit.
In addition to doing this walk, I have officially signed up to do the Brooks Spring into Shape Series on the 30th October (so 2 weekends in a row!! crazy!) which is a 4km run/walk. I have to say that I think I will be doing a lot more walking than running, especially if my body is still worn out, but I will complete it anyway, even if it is only at a brisk walk.
Hmmmmm..... what else... Food wise I have most definitely been over my 1200 calorie allowance this week. But I haven't been binging or having anything naughty, I have only probably exceeded my calories via cups of coffee! lol
Oh and I also had my weigh in last Wednesday and I lost 200g. I don't think I will have a fantastic result this week. But I am hoping to have at least lost some weight... We will see tomorrow morning.
Ok, well, that's it for now. Will blog tomorrow with my weigh in result. I really need to get my 12wbt mojo back!
Monday, 10 October 2011
Blogger Challenge: Motivation
This weeks blogger challenge is on motivation:
1. Describe in 25 words or less the you that you were before 12wbt
I was the person who had lost 20kg in the past over 4 years, but had managed to put almost all of it back on within a few months, something I had vowed never to do again. All of those old habits crept back into my life after a big (but great!) change.
2. Now - who are you now??
I am now back to the person I was, trying to lose weight healthily, and trying to build up healthy habits to become the healthiest version of me.
3. What has the hardest been the hardest thing to make habit THIS ROUND?
Exercise! I find it so hard to find the motivation and drive.
4. What has been easier to make habit than you thought it would be?
Eating. The food has been excellent, and other than the first couple of days, I haven't really found myself craving sweet foods. While I might walk past the bakery and comment, I don't necessarily want the foods.... well, I might want them, but I recognise that I don't need them.
5. How has your body changed THIS ROUND?
So far, I haven't seen any major changes, but overall I don't feel as tired.
6. How has your mindset changed this round?
Right now I am in a bit of a funk, so I am struggling, but I am trying to keep pressing on, which is probably a change in my mindset as before I would have given up earlier.
7. Finish this sentence "I now know I am strong because ..."
I just did 31 push ups in a minute!! lol!!
8. Finish this sentence "I am proudest of ...."
The fact that I am still trying to make this work even though all I want to do is eat caramel tarts (although that could be the hormones talking lol). I am also proud that while I have struggled with exercise, that I am still trying to make it work even though I feel like I am behind everyone else.
9. Finish this sentence "In 8 more weeks you will see me ...."
Still here, slogging it out and making it work! I will be slimmer, healthier and happier.
10. What word applies to you now - that you never would have used before 12wbt?
Oh gosh! lol! I have no idea... I would say stubborn, but I would have used that before the 12wbt... hmmmmm maybe "fun-runner" as I am about to do one and I never, ever thought I would!
1. Describe in 25 words or less the you that you were before 12wbt
I was the person who had lost 20kg in the past over 4 years, but had managed to put almost all of it back on within a few months, something I had vowed never to do again. All of those old habits crept back into my life after a big (but great!) change.
2. Now - who are you now??
I am now back to the person I was, trying to lose weight healthily, and trying to build up healthy habits to become the healthiest version of me.
3. What has the hardest been the hardest thing to make habit THIS ROUND?
Exercise! I find it so hard to find the motivation and drive.
4. What has been easier to make habit than you thought it would be?
Eating. The food has been excellent, and other than the first couple of days, I haven't really found myself craving sweet foods. While I might walk past the bakery and comment, I don't necessarily want the foods.... well, I might want them, but I recognise that I don't need them.
5. How has your body changed THIS ROUND?
So far, I haven't seen any major changes, but overall I don't feel as tired.
6. How has your mindset changed this round?
Right now I am in a bit of a funk, so I am struggling, but I am trying to keep pressing on, which is probably a change in my mindset as before I would have given up earlier.
7. Finish this sentence "I now know I am strong because ..."
I just did 31 push ups in a minute!! lol!!
8. Finish this sentence "I am proudest of ...."
The fact that I am still trying to make this work even though all I want to do is eat caramel tarts (although that could be the hormones talking lol). I am also proud that while I have struggled with exercise, that I am still trying to make it work even though I feel like I am behind everyone else.
9. Finish this sentence "In 8 more weeks you will see me ...."
Still here, slogging it out and making it work! I will be slimmer, healthier and happier.
10. What word applies to you now - that you never would have used before 12wbt?
Oh gosh! lol! I have no idea... I would say stubborn, but I would have used that before the 12wbt... hmmmmm maybe "fun-runner" as I am about to do one and I never, ever thought I would!
Week 5
Today is the start of week 5! I am trying to get myself motivated again, which is where I think the mini-milestone bush walk would have helped, however due to weather, we didn't get to go. I have 'rescheduled' it for this coming Saturday, so I am hoping that the weather will be ok to us this time. I am a little disappointed that we couldn't go, but I have also managed to get sick again, so to be fair, I probably wouldn't have been able to do much anyway or been able to get much out of it as I was so tired all of yesterday.
However, on Friday and Saturday nights I did complete my next fitness test to see how much I have improved. Overall I am really happy with what I have managed to accomplish, considering I have struggled with the exercise portion and being sick so much.
First off, I did the 1km run and I managed to do it in 6 minutes and 51 seconds, 30 seconds better than 4 weeks ago. I have to admit, that I was a little disapointed, but considering that I hadn't really been running for long (probably 2-3 weeks) that's pretty good. And when you are running, 30 seconds is a long time! Also, I think that getting sick had an impact on this, and I think I walked a bit more than I did the first time.
Last time around I was able to do 23 push ups on my knees, on Saturday night, I smashed out 31 push ups!!! That was really exciting!!!
I am also really happy with my wall sit, as I doubled my last result and I was able to sit there for 26 seconds!!!! I didn't think I would be able to do much more than my previous results of 13 seconds, so I am happy with that!
As expected, my abs test wasn't that great, and I am still at level 0 however, in saying that, I could tell that I had improved and I was able to get a little more movement, I just need to start doing more ab exercises.
The flexibility test was a pretty big break through! I was able to touch my toes!! Which means that my result was 0!! That is a 4cm improvement!!!
Overall, I have had some great results!! and I love that we are tracking them so that I can see them. I wonder what my week 8 results will be like!! The weekly surprise was updating my stats page with the above results as well as my measurements.
However, on Friday and Saturday nights I did complete my next fitness test to see how much I have improved. Overall I am really happy with what I have managed to accomplish, considering I have struggled with the exercise portion and being sick so much.
Last time around I was able to do 23 push ups on my knees, on Saturday night, I smashed out 31 push ups!!! That was really exciting!!!
I am also really happy with my wall sit, as I doubled my last result and I was able to sit there for 26 seconds!!!! I didn't think I would be able to do much more than my previous results of 13 seconds, so I am happy with that!
As expected, my abs test wasn't that great, and I am still at level 0 however, in saying that, I could tell that I had improved and I was able to get a little more movement, I just need to start doing more ab exercises.
The flexibility test was a pretty big break through! I was able to touch my toes!! Which means that my result was 0!! That is a 4cm improvement!!!
Overall, I have had some great results!! and I love that we are tracking them so that I can see them. I wonder what my week 8 results will be like!! The weekly surprise was updating my stats page with the above results as well as my measurements.
Friday, 7 October 2011
Readjusting Goals
Well, I'm feeling a little more together now, so I thought I would take a quick look at my goals, and readjusting them as needed.
1 month goals (Week 4)
** NEW GOALS**
1 month goals (Week 8)
3 Months (Week 12)
1 month goals (Week 4)
- Lose 6 kg
Didn't reach this goal - however I did lose 3.8kg! Almost 1kg a week! - Stay on plan with food and exercise
I am going to count this as a tick. I didn't binge or have a massive blow out. Sometimes I might not have eaten according to Mish's plans, but I tried hard to stay within calories. - Start exercising in the mornings
Nope - this didn't happen at all... unless you count Saturday mornings before Stitch and Bitch.... hmmmm well, maybe I will count that as a tick then... - Do more core exercises - don't be afraid!
Hmmmmm.... I am still afraid!!! I do try to do them more than I ever did during classes, but I don't think this is enough - Try new classes (like boxing)
Tried boxing, Active, Groove, Power and Centergy. Not a big fan of boxing, but that's only because I'm not quite fit enough for it lol - Go on a hike in a National Park
Doing this on the weekend!!! I am actually really excited about it!! Hope it doesn't rain! This will be happening at the very end of Week 4, so still in the timeframe. Can't wait to blog about it!
** NEW GOALS**
1 month goals (Week 8)
- Lose 4 kg - stick with the goal of 1 kg a week
- Stay on plan with food and exercise and plan out our meals in advance
- Go paddle boating on Lake Burley Griffin
- Look into the core exercises and how they are done. Come up with a plan to do them at home as well. Use the fitball to help (pump up the one at home)
- Try to get to the gym more often - I have had too many sick days (genuine, but still)
- Start taking a multi-vitimin so you aren't so sick all the time
- Find a new job so I'm not so stressed - this does have an impact on the 12WBT
- Do the fun run at the end of October
- Run 1km without stopping
- Burn off 11,200 calories in 4 weeks. (That is 400 calories per day - I think I will build up to the 500, and this will stop putting pressure on me)
- Lose another 17cm from my measurements
3 Months (Week 12)
- Lose 12 kg (ticker updated)
- Run 3km without stopping
- Fit into my work uniform
- Burn 28,000 calories (ticker updated)
- Lose 50cm total from my measurements
- Have a waist measurement of under 100cm
- Up my weights in pump class to 3.75kg for upper body and 5kg for lower body
- Have a stronger core and be able to do the plank on my toes.
Thursday, 6 October 2011
Feel like wallowing and diving into a river of melted chocolate
hmmmm..... melted chocolate.... thats a really great visual....
Anyway, on to the reason for my post. I am so sad and upset today. I really dont want to type it all out again, so in lazy fashion, I am going to just pop a link in here to my other blog.
Since I let all of this out this morning, I have been struggling to hold back the tears (so not a good look at work I can tell you that!) and all I want to do is wallow. The only time food really popped into my head was about 15 minutes ago when I was in McDonald's picking up a coffee for morning tea - however I was quite strong about it, and walked out with only my skim latte. Then it got me thinking, what do I really feel like? What do I really want to wallow in?? One thought I did have was that I just want to run and run and run... not that I physically can lol, but I think I just wanted to wear myself out and feel like I have some kind of control over something in my life. The other thought I had was that what I really want to be doing is curled up at home, with my blanket and I just want to knit and zone everything out. Knitting and crafts are my relaxation. It is like meditation for me where I can just churn through the thoughts in my head with no emotion and just completely relaxed. With the weather being as overcast as it is atm, it is perfect knitting weather where I can just shut everything out. (In case you haven't noticed, I am a bit fan of denial lol)
After reading Tracey's post this morning, it made me think that I should revisit my goals as well as I think this is a great idea. However, I am feeling too much like a failure today and too mopey to be able to give it a proper, positive go as I will only be looking at everything that I didn't achieve, so I might do a little knitting at lunch time, and if that cheers me up a little, have a go at looking at my goals and trying to set some more.
Wednesday, 5 October 2011
Weigh In!
Good Morning all!!
My wishes were answered this morning when I jumped on the scales to find a 1.5kg loss!! WOOT WOOT!!! this brings me to 3.8kg loss in 4 weeks. Not quite 4 in 4, but close enough!!! I had set my first goal to be for me to lose 6kg in 4 weeks, so clearly I was over estimating my body's willingness to lose the weight, so later on today I will be going through my goals and readjusting them to be a little more realistic.
I also did my measurements last night, and I am happy to tell you all that in 4 weeks I have lost 17.5cm from my body! (I forgot to measure my arms, so will update that tonight).
Week 4
Wednesday 5 October
Wednesday 5 October
| Change | Total Loss | ||
| Weight: | 92.7kg | -3.8kg | -3.8kg |
| Arms: | 29.5cm | 0cm | 0cm |
| Bust: | 110.5cm | -3.5cm | -1.5cm |
| Waist: | 119cm | -4.5cm | -4.5cm |
| Hips: | 120cm | -4.5cm | -4.5cm |
| R Thigh: | 56cm | -2.5cm | -2.5cm |
| L Thigh: | 56cm | -2.5cm | -2.5cm |
| Totals: | -17.5cm | -17.5cm |
It's so great to see it all laid out like that, as I was saying to B last night, the truth is, I really don't mind what I weigh, I just want to be trimmer, which is where the measurements come in. I wasn't sure if 17.5cm in a month was that good, but when we put it into comparison with my goal of losing 50cm, losing 17.5cm makes me at 35% of my goal, and we are only 33% of the way through the program, so I think I am doing really well so far!!
Last night I couldn't make it to pump. And, my 'excuse' was one of my "Outside of my Control" ones - Migraines! I can't do anything when I have a migraine, with some of the bad ones, I struggle to speak properly, so there is no way I would be coordinated enough for any form of exercise. The only other problem is that I also have the next day as an "after affect" day (today), where my brain is still fuzzy and if I move my head slightly then it feels like my brain has slammed into the side of my head. So without making today an additional excuse and writing it off totally, I have decided that I wont go to the gym, however I will try to walk on the treadmill tonight. It won't be much, but it will be something.
I am really looking forward to the bush walk mini milestone this weekend, I just really hope that the weather is OK for it. I am also curious to see how I go in my next fitness test, so that has been scheduled for Saturday morning before Stitch and Bitch. It will be interesting to see how things have changed, as I really wasn't expecting such big numbers off my measurements, so hopefully I will get some surprising (good surprising that is!) results from the fitness test.
Tuesday, 4 October 2011
Blogger Challenge: Find the Joy
This week's blogger challenge was to "Find the Joy" - or, what (other than food) brings me joy? So, here is my list (in no particular order - just as they pop into my head):
- Hanging out with my boyfriend
- Crafting - knitting, crocheting, cross stitch, etc
- Finishing a project
- Those amazing "alive" days - where the sun is shining, the window is down, the music is great and all you can think of is how much you are loving the moment
- Watching a good movie
- Catching up with my friends
- Catching up with my brother, sister and Dad
- Bubble baths
- Warm socks
- Curling up on the lounge with a doona during the rain
- The smell of rain
- Being organised and planning (mostly because it means I'm not stressing)
- Travel - I miss it so much!!!
- The Aussie Bush - love the smells and sounds (hence my 4 week mile stone is a bush walk)
- Coffee!!! Oh wait - is that food?? lol I call it a way of life!! lol!! I really don't see it as a food product....
Week 4
Today is the start of week 4! That means that this week, I have my:
As it was a long weekend, and full of activities, overall, I am quite happy with my food choices. I do have to admit that there was a lot of takeaway involved, but I tried to make the best choices possible. For example, I tried Wok Me, and managed to make a great choice with the Kuai Tiau. Now, I am only wishing they had this shop in town. There is a similar place (which we had yesterday) but I think they use more oil, although overall quite healthy. It has made me want to try cooking my own, although I have never used a wok before, or made anything like this, so looks like I will be recipe surfing. On Sunday night, we also had pizza, but I did my research before hand and found out which was the pizza with the least calories and worked out how many slices I could have without going over my calorie budget. I think that we have been eating out so much, simply because of the fridge situation. I am really struggling with not having the fridge in the kitchen and not being able to plan ahead properly. However, I am really hoping this will be sorted in the next couple of days.
On Saturday, I had my first SSS (Super Saturday Session) where I am supposed to burn 1000 calories. I had planned that before I went to stitch and bitch that I would get up earlier (as mentioned in a previous post) and do an extra bit of cardio and then jump into my Centergy class that I should come close to burning the 1000 calories. However, my calculations were a little off, and I only burned 731. I am trying to not look at this as another failure, but rather as a "now I know I need to burn more before my class" and "it's still the most you have burned in a single session to date". I did burn 350 calories before the class started, and then 381 in the class (which, believe it or not is less than I burned in the Centergy class the week before!).
I am also really excited I love my coffee... that love has been increased in the new love of my life, the Saeco Exprelia!!!!
We
picked it up on Sunday, and I am just so in love with it!! This is my
ultimate coffee machine! At one touch of a button, it does everything!
It froths the milk, adds the coffee and cleans itself! The only thing I
need to do is add the sugar! It can even do hot chocolate and use
pre-ground coffee and I can even adjust it so that it can make my coffee
in my travel mug!!
WINNING!!
You can see more about it here.
Also, I used to measure out the milk before I frothed it on my old coffee machine, and this one actually uses a slightly bit less, so I am doing even better calorie wise!!!
- Fitness Test
- Mini Milesone
- Measurements
- Weigh in
As it was a long weekend, and full of activities, overall, I am quite happy with my food choices. I do have to admit that there was a lot of takeaway involved, but I tried to make the best choices possible. For example, I tried Wok Me, and managed to make a great choice with the Kuai Tiau. Now, I am only wishing they had this shop in town. There is a similar place (which we had yesterday) but I think they use more oil, although overall quite healthy. It has made me want to try cooking my own, although I have never used a wok before, or made anything like this, so looks like I will be recipe surfing. On Sunday night, we also had pizza, but I did my research before hand and found out which was the pizza with the least calories and worked out how many slices I could have without going over my calorie budget. I think that we have been eating out so much, simply because of the fridge situation. I am really struggling with not having the fridge in the kitchen and not being able to plan ahead properly. However, I am really hoping this will be sorted in the next couple of days.
I am also really excited I love my coffee... that love has been increased in the new love of my life, the Saeco Exprelia!!!!
WINNING!!
You can see more about it here.
Also, I used to measure out the milk before I frothed it on my old coffee machine, and this one actually uses a slightly bit less, so I am doing even better calorie wise!!!
Friday, 30 September 2011
Feeling down...
*warning - negative post*
I feel so incredibly sad and just unmotivated over the last few days. I feel so completely out of control, not as in crazy out of control, but more as in I have no control. Anyone who knows me, would tell you that I love to feel like I have control.
I started this blog so that I could get everything out there, and for those people who are looking at doing the 12WBT to be able to see what it is like, because as a planner, I know that I read up on the program before I started it. So, here comes the heartfelt pity post.
Right now, in my life, I feel like there is nothing that I control. I feel like a lot of decisions are made for me and I feel as though I am fading away. There are things that I don't want to have control of, but I feel as though if I don't do it, then no one else will. My life seems to be upside down at the moment and I am floating around in the abyss somewhere.
To be honest with you, tomorrow I will probably look back on this post and wonder where all this was coming from, but right now, I need to rant... well, more like I need to cry and not be the strong person.
We have our week 4 milestone coming up, and the truth is, I don't feel like I deserve to do it. I haven't lost that much weight, I haven't been to the gym as much as I should have (even though I tell myself that I was quite sick for a week) and even when I do workout, I seem to not have the motivation to hit the 500 calorie mark. I feel like a failure. I haven't been eating Michelle's food plan as she has laid out, as I don't want to vary the breakfasts and I have been having the left overs for the dinners for lunch. All in all though, I have tried to stick with the 1200 calories per day.
This week I set myself the goal of working out for the 6 days, and while so far I have worked out, I haven't hit the 500 calorie mark. In fact, I think in the last 3 weeks I have only burned over 500 calories twice. Yesterday was quite a stressful day and I worked back late, so I missed pump, and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and knit. I did make myself jump on the (new!) treadmill and I had the intention of trying for half an hour on it, doing the learn to run program, however I only managed 5 minutes! (I think that because the incline is much higher than I am used to, it wore me out so much quicker). So, I headed downstairs and did a 25 minute yoga dvd. I only burned 225 calories in total - not even half of what we are supposed to be doing.
I just feel so worthless and feel like that I just can't seem to make a real go of it all. I am so exhausted!!!! I am tired of working out everyday! And while I know I shouldn't (and even get told off by B) I have been having "sneaky weigh ins" - where I haven't been seeing anything change. I know that Mish says to take the emotion out of it, but seeing how I am feeling at the moment, I honestly can't. I want to know that I am struggling like this and can at least get some results... right now I'm not seeing anything and I just don't see the point.
In saying that, I know (hoping!!) this is just a momentary feeling, and I am really hoping that the first full week of workouts is supposed to make me feel like shit. I will still be following the program and still avoiding sabotaging myself and just plodding along with it all in general, but I just wish that one of my problems would be resolved and give me one less thing to be thinking about. With so many things to be organised or to do, and nothing seeming to be resolved, as Bilbo Baggins puts it "I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread." Obviously I have only touched on the 12WBT issues here, as the others I feel are probably a little too personal to put onto such a public forum.
Here is hoping to have a more positive Leeana by the next post, and hopefully even a task or 2 resolved.
I feel so incredibly sad and just unmotivated over the last few days. I feel so completely out of control, not as in crazy out of control, but more as in I have no control. Anyone who knows me, would tell you that I love to feel like I have control.
I started this blog so that I could get everything out there, and for those people who are looking at doing the 12WBT to be able to see what it is like, because as a planner, I know that I read up on the program before I started it. So, here comes the heartfelt pity post.
Right now, in my life, I feel like there is nothing that I control. I feel like a lot of decisions are made for me and I feel as though I am fading away. There are things that I don't want to have control of, but I feel as though if I don't do it, then no one else will. My life seems to be upside down at the moment and I am floating around in the abyss somewhere.
To be honest with you, tomorrow I will probably look back on this post and wonder where all this was coming from, but right now, I need to rant... well, more like I need to cry and not be the strong person.
We have our week 4 milestone coming up, and the truth is, I don't feel like I deserve to do it. I haven't lost that much weight, I haven't been to the gym as much as I should have (even though I tell myself that I was quite sick for a week) and even when I do workout, I seem to not have the motivation to hit the 500 calorie mark. I feel like a failure. I haven't been eating Michelle's food plan as she has laid out, as I don't want to vary the breakfasts and I have been having the left overs for the dinners for lunch. All in all though, I have tried to stick with the 1200 calories per day.
This week I set myself the goal of working out for the 6 days, and while so far I have worked out, I haven't hit the 500 calorie mark. In fact, I think in the last 3 weeks I have only burned over 500 calories twice. Yesterday was quite a stressful day and I worked back late, so I missed pump, and all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and knit. I did make myself jump on the (new!) treadmill and I had the intention of trying for half an hour on it, doing the learn to run program, however I only managed 5 minutes! (I think that because the incline is much higher than I am used to, it wore me out so much quicker). So, I headed downstairs and did a 25 minute yoga dvd. I only burned 225 calories in total - not even half of what we are supposed to be doing.
I just feel so worthless and feel like that I just can't seem to make a real go of it all. I am so exhausted!!!! I am tired of working out everyday! And while I know I shouldn't (and even get told off by B) I have been having "sneaky weigh ins" - where I haven't been seeing anything change. I know that Mish says to take the emotion out of it, but seeing how I am feeling at the moment, I honestly can't. I want to know that I am struggling like this and can at least get some results... right now I'm not seeing anything and I just don't see the point.
In saying that, I know (hoping!!) this is just a momentary feeling, and I am really hoping that the first full week of workouts is supposed to make me feel like shit. I will still be following the program and still avoiding sabotaging myself and just plodding along with it all in general, but I just wish that one of my problems would be resolved and give me one less thing to be thinking about. With so many things to be organised or to do, and nothing seeming to be resolved, as Bilbo Baggins puts it "I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread." Obviously I have only touched on the 12WBT issues here, as the others I feel are probably a little too personal to put onto such a public forum.
Here is hoping to have a more positive Leeana by the next post, and hopefully even a task or 2 resolved.
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